2016: A BANNER year for celebrity gossip. Do you remember the half of it, though?
1. Brian McFadden and Keith Duffy’s Boyzlife supergroup, and Kian Egan’s disapproval of it
Brian McFadden, Westlife deserter, dared to set up a boyband ‘supergroup’ with Boyzone’s Keith Duffy this year – and well, the rest of Westlife were not impressed.
Kian Egan said he found the supergroup “aggravating”:
It’s a bit of an odd one – a member of Westlife who left the band after four years decides to use half the name for whatever it is they’re doing. If Westlife ever got back together again, it would be Westlife. It would be the four guys who stood in Croke Park the day Westlife ended.
ATE HIM KIAN.
2. Tom Hiddleston’s ‘I Heart TS’ tank top
A short timeline of events:
June 2: Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris break up.
June 15: Taylor is spotted snogging Tom Hiddleston on a rock by the sea. They later embark on a world tour showcasing the love affair.
July 4: Tom sports an ‘I Heart TS’ vest during Taylor’s annual Fourth of July party.
September 6: Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift break up.
Tom probably wishes he could forget the tank top. But we will never forget.
3. Louis Tomlinson’s ‘fake baby’
Louis from One Direction’s son, Freddie, was born in January, and while most fans were happy for him, there is a core group that believe the baby is fake. Not just a fake, but a ploy to distract the world from his real romance with fellow bandmate Harry Styles.
Buzzfeed did an admirably in-depth feature on the conspiracy, but the gist is - these fans believe the baby is a doll, Louis’ entire relationship with baby mama Briana Jungwirth was faked, and all pictures of Louis with his son are Photoshopped. It. Is. WILD.
4. Kendall Jenner ‘appropriating ballet culture’
A scandal that didn’t have much legs (sorry), but will stand as a relic of what people worried about pre-President Elect Trump.
Model and reality star Kendall Jenner did a ballet-themed photoshoot for Spanish Vogue in September, wearing pointe shoes:
This made people MAD, because a) Kendall is not a real ballerina, and b) she hasn’t done the training, therefore she cannot just wear the shoes.
The words “appropriating ballet culture” were used.
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The critics were told to take a breath and read up about actual cultural appropriation, and nothing more was made of it. Thank god.
5. Vicky Pattison and her gurning
Vicky Pattison, of Geordie Shore and I’m A Celebrity fame, was accused of gurning wildly on telly multiple times in 2016. It started when she was a guest on the Xtra Factor:
But really ramped up once she started presenting the I’m A Celebrity spin off Extra Camp:
Vicky was forced to defend herself by saying it’s something that she’s “always done”, but the accusations continue.
6. Calvin Harris’ Twitter rant about Taylor Swift and Katy Perry
In July, it emerged that Taylor Swift had co-written her ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris’ hit single This Is What You Came For under a pseudonym.
Harris was NOT pleased with the news being ‘leaked’ by her team, and went off on Twitter:
He also got in a bit about Taylor’s rumoured feud with Katy Perry. Just because he could.
“Please focus on the positive aspects of YOUR life because you’ve earned a great one,” he concluded. “God bless everyone, have a beautiful day.”
Thank you, gossip gods, thank you.
7. Kim Kardashian’s nude selfie, and subsequent beef with Bette Midler and Chloe Grace Moretz
Kim Kardashian posted the above selfie on Instagram back in March partly to make a silly joke, and partly because she can.
While some were all “Woo! Do your thing”, others decided this was Not Acceptable. Two of the loudest voices were actresses Bette Midler and Chloe Grace Moretz:
Kim was unfazed.
The day Kim Kardashian decides she should cover up more is the day the world has officially lost its marbles, TBH.
8. Jessica Lowndes and Jon Lovitz’ May-December ‘relationship’
Those names might not mean anything to you. But for at least two weeks in March, the internet was obsessed with Jessica Lowndes and Jon Lovitz’s seeming relationship.
Former 90210 actress Lowndes started posting mysterious Instagrams referring to a “new man in her life” – a wealthy older man who’d “swept her off her feet”:
Speculation over who those hands could belong to was rife, and Lowndes eventually revealed it to be former Saturday Night Live cast member Lovitz (who you may also remember as ‘The Stoned Guy’ from Friends).
The pair played lovey-dovey for a little while, sending Twitter into a frenzy:
But as it turns out, the whole thing was a set up to promote Lowndes’ music video, which Lovitz was co-starring in. The disappointment.
9. Kanye, Taylor, and Kim Kardashian’s Snapchat story
Hoo boy, was this a juicy one. Kanye West released his seventh album in February – one of the songs, Famous, contained this controversial line about Taylor Swift:
I think me and Taylor might still have sex/ Why, I made that bitch famous
Kanye claimed Taylor gave the line her blessing, but a spokesperson for the singer said she was never made aware of the ‘bitch’ line and “cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message.”
Kim Kardashian took issue with this and posted a video of Kanye talking to Taylor over the phone about the lyric in question, with the pair seeming to agree that it would all be a great joke. Taylor was NOT pleased with the exposé:
But instead of absolving her, the statement just caused critics to flood her Instagram with thousands of snake emojis. The drama!
10. And Jeremy McConnell and Stephanie Davis. Just all of it
The ballad of Jeremy and Stephanie, the bread and butter of gossip mags throughout 2016, is long and torturous.
The pair met on Celebrity Big Brother (he an Irish model, she a former Hollyoaks actress) and quickly fell for each other, despite Stephanie having a boyfriend outside the show.
After getting publicly dumped while still in the Big Brother house, Stephanie officially got with Jeremy. Then broke up with him after he cheated on her. Then got with him again. Then broke up with him again after more cheating rumours. And so on and so forth.
Soon after their final breakup, Stephanie revealed she was pregnant (though conspiracy theorists initially claimed she was faking it) – Jeremy is having nothing to do with her or their baby, which is due any minute now. Didn’t we say it was long and torturous?
