LISTEN UP, IRISH people. Don’t do this outside of Ireland.
1. Ignoring someone after they ask you how you are
If you see a colleague or someone you kinda know in public:
Hey.
Hey, how are ya?
[Walks on]
This doesn’t cut it abroad folks.
2. Not doing something after saying “I will yeah”
They think you’re going to do it. You JUST said you WILL, YEAH.
3. Saying hello to a complete stranger when you pass them on the street
It’s just a friendly habit in Ireland, but abroad they’ll look at you like a two-headed monster trying to rob their wallet.
4. Doing something reckless and offensive, ‘for the craic’
That excuse is not gonna cut it in those cold, dark places that don’t know what the true meaning of ‘craic’ is.
5. Going up for the fourth round of pints after everyone had agreed to go for just the one
They thought you were mad when you went up the first time, but now you’re taking the piss. They have homes to go to.
6. Asking someone if they know such-and-such from X place because they too, are from there
Yeah, it’s grand when you’re talking about Ballygofeckin and it’s population of 10, but imagine this:
Oh, you’re from Sydney? Do you know Paul Anderson?
…
7. Legging it out of a party or gathering without saying goodbye
Simply the norm, in Ireland, but some cultures think it’s ~rude~.
8. Say ‘would you go and shite’ to someone asking a favour of you
To you, this might sound like you’re joking with someone, but will ultimately do it. To a non-Irish person, it sounds like you are asking them to go and literally take a shite.
9. Taking a full Supermac’s meal on the train
No.
10. Going to the pub to shovel a few pints into you for every occasion
Just introduced a tiny baby into the Catholic religion? Wetting its head = pints, not the water.
11. Talking shit about Bono
People abroad love Bono. Why?
12. Having a ‘good’ anything
Good towel, good scissors. WHY CAN’T WE JUST USE THAT ONE, EH?
13. Being disgusted at people not drinking
Are you on antibiotics?
No.
Oh.
