NOT NEARLY ENOUGH credit is given to taxi drivers – those brave men and women whose job it is to ferry us to the nightclubs, then back home afterwards.
In those late hours, all sense of etiquette and decorum is thrown out the window, and we all basically become mewling babies. No, really.
Here are 11 annoying things you should never do to a taxi driver again. Ever.
1. Call them ‘Mr Taxi Man’
You think you’re being cute. The taxi driver thinks you’re patronising them.
2. Ask them to put on ‘the tunes’
Then begging for the highest volume possible. Our eardrums!
3. Insist on backseat karaoke sessions on your way to the club
You may think you sound like a rock star bellowing Hero by Chad Kroeger with your mates, but the taxi driver is definitely in agony.
4. Make a big show of using their name
“Hiya… JOE. Joe, how are you? Ah JOE, you’re an awful sound taxi man.”
5. Have loud discussions about the pronunciation of said name
You’re probably at the stage in the night when you’re beginning to forget what’s embarrassing and what’s not.
But just ask them if you’re really interested. For everyone’s sake.
6. Go back to calling them ‘Mr Taxi Man’
7. Lie about how sick you feel
“I’m not going to get sick.” Driver, pull over immediately.
“Will you bring me from Leeson Street to Cabra for eight euro and… *looks in wallet* Sixty cent?”
There’s a meter. Read the meter.
9. Eat a full kebab in the back seat
Sneaking the odd chip? Grand. Horsing into a gigantic, messy burger? Now sis.
10. Leave a mess in the back of their cab
If they were sound enough to let you drink your shnakey cans/naggins, take them with you when you get out. It’s only fair.
11. Get in the front seat and take a selfie with them
This is more for your sake than theirs. Nobody thinks you’regas. Sorry.