CALLING ALL CYCLISTS and drivers.
Pedestrians have something to say, and they want you to listen (while pulled in safely at the side of the road, obviously).
1. This is us, every day
2. Cyclists! You are not pedestrians!
So please, stop acting like pedestrians.
Footpaths are not for you to whizz along. Red lights apply to you. Pedestrian crossings apply to you. You are terrifying.
3. We’re sorry for jaywalking
But sometimes it can’t be avoided.
This is a pedestrian’s least favourite jaywalking scenario:
- The pedestrian is trying to cross the road.
- The pedestrian managed to scuttle across to the centre, with just the one car approaching from the left. The way behind that car is clear. The pedestrian just has to wait for this one car to pass. C’MON CAR. KEEP GOING.
- The car slows down to engage in a game of polite cat and mouse as the pedestrian dithers and wonders if they should make a run for it, praying silently that the driver will just continue on their way and allow their jaywalking to continue unhindered.
- The driver meanwhile is thinking this:
4. Revving your car in a menacing way at traffic lights makes you the worst person in the world
You know who you are.
5. Blocking a pedestrian crossing is asshat behaviour
6. There is no better feeling that giving a driver blocking a pedestrian crossing the stink eye
A little glance at the green man adds a nice touch.
7. The puddles. THE PUDDLES
Please try to avoid them.
It’s raining. We’re already miserable enough without you adding to the street juice clinging to our jeans.
8. We hate people who press the button unnecessarily as much as you do
It might be the person who presses the button even though we’ve just pressed it.
Or even worse, it might be the person who’s just sauntering past and presses the button EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE NOT CROSSING THE ROAD!
9. Walking on country roads is terror incarnate
Clinging onto bushes for dear life and jumping into hedges to avoid being flattened by articulated trucks is no fun for anyone.
10. You are infinitely more powerful than us
11. Some of us are drivers/cyclists too
So we know what you’re up against. We’re all in this together.
