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Dublin: 2 °C Wednesday 21 February, 2018
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10 frankly ludicrous items of clothing that ASOS is trying to fob off on us

Practical.

ASOS, WE LOVE you.

But sometimes you take it too far.

Please, ASOS. This can’t reasonably be described as a vest.

You can see his man cleavage.

ves Source: ASOS

What’s this, you ask? Just a t-shirt with a strip of tutu inexplicably attached to it.

So fashion forward.

tut Source: ASOS

Over cold shoulders? Allow us to present… the cold elbow.

New rule: all tops must expose at least one body part now. RIP, tops with shoulders and elbow.

cold Source: ASOS

This is a ‘cowl neck poncho’ designed to be worn over your jacket. Practical.

But really it just looks like a bib for adults.

cowl Source: ASOS

We pine for the days when jeans were jeans and didn’t come with unnecessary frills and holes.

Seriously, who can wear this without looking like a seven-year-old on holidays in Co. Wexford?

fril Source: ASOS

Handy outfit for slipping into after work.

body Source: ASOS

These are ‘meggings’. As in, men’s leggings. Like all men’s clothes, they have unnecessary pockets/layers.

Two questions:

  • Why?
  • Who asked for this?

egs Source: ASOS

meg Source: ASOS

For that man in your life with a really enormous penis.

Normal crotches are just too oppressive.

crot Source: ASOS

For when you want to look like you’re an extra in the video for Destiny’s Child Survivor.

extm Source: ASOS

And when you love sausages and you don’t care who knows it. (Okay, we kind of want this.)

saus Source: ASOS

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