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The Big Quiz

The Christmas inquisition: 5 awkward questions we all face from the family

Fear not. We have got you covered.

CHRISTMAS IS A time for families to get together and catch up on each other’s lives.

Unfortunately, this also means answering some uncomfortable questions about your personal life to relatives you haven’t seen since last Christmas.

No way are you about to offer them an honest response…

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1. Are you going out with anyone? (They only ask when you’re clearly not)

To answer this question and make it go away as quickly as your failed relationships, you need to be quick to the point and address the online dating thing early to avoid prolonging the probing.

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You could go with:

I’m putting myself out there, I just haven’t found ‘the one’ yet. I am sure you’re right…he/she is probably right around the corner. Ah sure I have loads of time. [insert age here] is the new [younger decade] after all. 

Cue awkward laughs all round.

Or if they have done their research…

2. I heard you’re seeing someone. When are we going to meet him/her?

This one could go either way…

You can be truthful if your new relationship is going well and if not, then it’s probably best to lie or make another awkward joke…

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Oh I am sure you will get to meet him/her soon…(he/she is nuts so they are likely to show up at any minute.)I am trialing him/her out before I deem him/her worthy enough of your wonderful company. Where do you get your information?

3. Why don’t you try the Tinder?

In this instance, you must resist the urge to show your Granny or any relatives for that matter, the vulgar messages you have received on ‘the Tinder’.

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You are better off to play it safe and say something like:

Ah, I like the old fashioned approach. Or make a joke…Yes, I must give it a go – [their spouse] has said it is great. 

Oh the hilarity…

4. What is it you do again?

They mean besides pondering the meaning of life at your desk every day. If you work as anything outside of ‘the norm’, this question is something you tackle regularly and never quite get the response you are hoping for.

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I’m a [anything creative]. 

Oh…wait for it – [neighbour's child] is a lawyer/doctor/ruler of the World now.

That’s great.

Moving swiftly along…

5. Are you on the Facebook?

It’s okay. You can tell the truth. There are ways to stop your relatives from seeing your antics.

You also get the added bonus of tech issues with this one. Time to show off your skills…

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I am, it’s great isn’t it? Oh you just joined? Of course, go ahead and add me…Oh no, that’s the wrong [your name], I can do it for you. Will I just do it for you?I’ll just add you from mine. 

What’s that? Nature is calling?

Congratulations, you have earned your peace.

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