BEYONCÉ RELEASED A surprise album overnight, and people are excited.
However, it’s hard not to wonder how Blue Ivy, Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s daughter, will feel about this album when she reaches an age at which she can understand the lyrics.
Actually, there’s no need to wonder about it, you can be pretty sure she’ll be absolutely mortified.
The reason? One song, and one song alone: Drunk in Love. It’s a duet between her parents in which they describe how much they er… want each other… and enjoy… having each other.
Highlights include:
Beyoncé:
Last thing I remember is our beautiful bodies grinding up in that club…
Ok, relatively innocuous.
Jay-Z:
…slip your panties right to the side, ain’t got the time to take drawers off…
Erm…
Jay-Z:
We sex again in the mornin’ your breasteses is my breakfast
Even we feel uncomfortable with this one, and they’re not our parents.
Beyoncé:
Can’t keep you eyes off my fatty, Daddy, I want you
Like, you just don’t want to hear your mam calling your dad ‘Daddy’ in a sexy way do you?
That’s just one song as well, there are plenty of other insights into how Blue Ivy’s parents like it in the bedroom. And the kitchen. And the bath…
Poor Blue. A lifetime of cringing awaits.
