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Dublin: 0 °C Sunday 18 March, 2018

17 observations we had after watching *that* Boyzone appearance on the Late Late in full

It gets better every time.

IT WAS NOVEMBER 26 in the year of our Lord 1993 when an iconic moment in Irish television, nay, Irish life occurred.

Boyzone’s first ever public appearance.

The highlights of their Late Late “performance” are known far and wide, but watching the whole eight minutes in the RTÉ archive is worth it for the full picture of what really went on that fateful night.

1. It starts off with Gay Byrne putting on an indistinguishable accent and saying “macho men have come to town”

inthezone Source: RTE

There is no Google-able reference here, so we’ll just have to assume the voice and line was a complete ad lib on Gay’s part.

The man’s a pro.

2. On closer inspection, Keith Duffy is wearing Budweiser-branded suspenders

inthezone2 Source: RTE

Interesting choice.

Guinness probably didn’t produce them back then.

3. Early doors, Gay clocks that one of the lads is Dickie Rock’s son and is delighted he can finally chat about music he’s actually interested in

inthezone3 Source: RTE

No more talk about Take That, finally.

4. In fact, you’d easily forget that Richard Rock was a part of this performance

inthezone4 Source: RTE

Apparently he “left citing musical differences with Ronan Keating” soon after.

Fair enough.

5. The small talk at the start is beyond excruciating – but then Gay starts calling them out for not being able to sing or play any instruments

dickierock2 Source: RTE

No holding back.

6. It’s at this point – completely unprompted – that the audience just start shouting out really, really condescending questions

2017 MTV Movie And TV Awards - Show - Los Angeles Source: RTE

Like this guy:

You know the way they say that Take That is just a marketing package – very well marketed – is this going to be the same thing? Or is there some realistic talent?

The lads just have to stand there being all :/

7. Then it just turns into a full public inquisition – with observations about their lack of talent being hurled from all corners of the studio

dickierock3 Source: RTE

Whatever happened to the quieter, more refined generation that we’re told existed back then?

Bedlam in the studio.

8. There were prepared one-liners being thrown out too: “I think they’d be more like the Chippendales”

dickierock4 Source: RTE

9. Then Keith revealed to the crowd that the band were only formed properly the night before and the performance we’re about to see was prepared for half an hour in the dressing room. The writing was on the wall that a mortifying few minutes of TV was about to be bestowed upon us

dickierock5 Source: RTE

10. He follows it up with a plea to the crowd to “be nice to us” – which is fair enough given the (until that point) unfounded criticism that’s just gone before

dickierock6 Source: RTE

11. To garner even more sympathy from the baying crowd, the lads reveal that they’re still doing their Leaving Cert

2017 MTV Movie And TV Awards - Show - Los Angeles Source: RTE

They may as well be saying “we’re literal children, please no more calling us out.”

12. It’s hard to know who the panel sitting behind are – but they get a front row seat for what’s about to come next

dickierock7 Source: RTE

13. The dance begins – no matter how many times you see it, it still gets better and better

dickierock8 Source: RTE

14. Despite the limited practice time, Stephen and Ronan out front are surprisingly in sync

dickierock9 Source: RTE

15. This man is visibly shaking from laughter in the front row – such is the insanity of what he is seeing before him

inthezone5 Source: RTE

And only a couple of feet away from history!

16. The lads go on a bit of a freestyle when they finally run out of prepared moves – clearly waiting for the music to end to put them out of their misery

inthezone6 Source: RTE

17. When it’s over, Gay sidles in, gives them all handshakes and says: “we look forward to hearing from you when you’re famous!” Followed by – to the camera – “they’re going to have a go!”

inthezone7 Source: RTE

The sarcasm is practically dripping off him at this stage.

Little did he know what he had just launched on an unsuspecting nation.

Eight minutes of perfection.

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About the author:

David Elkin

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