WHEN IT COMES to masturbation, there are a few tried and tested methods that the human race has come to rely on.
Like, I don’t know, using your hands ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A few days ago, Buzzfeed decided that men needed to spice up their masturbation game and posted a video called 6 Easy Masturbation Hacks For Men. (Imagine explaining the concept of “masturbation hacks” to a time traveller from 20 years ago.)
The video started out normally enough as they advised viewers to try masturbating with (a) two hands and (b) your non-writing hand.
Then they shed a light on something called the “tap tap” method, which essentially involves keeping your jocks on and tapping the tip of your penis until you climax.
This doesn’t seem particularly efficient, but whatever floats your boat.
The most bonkers tip of all, though? I don’t know how to say this, but Buzzfeed thinks that men should cut a hole in a bar of soap and… stick their penis in the hole.
Pardon me?
The video shows a man using a small penknife to chisel a hole into the bar of soap like he’s the bloody MacGyver of masturbation and then sticking a banana in there.
Oh and also? Men wanting to try this method out for themselves are advised to wear a condom because sticking your penis into a bar of soap might cause skin irritation.
Christ alive.
This bar soap method sent the internet over the edge.
You want me to do what with a bar of soap?
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WHAT IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY TRIES IT, THOUGH?
What’s next? Telling lads to try masturbating with apple tart?
(Please don’t do that.)
