THE CHEETAH GIRLS was released 15 years ago today.
Can’t see the video? Click here.
Before High School Musical and Camp Rock, this was the Disney channel movie that rocked many a pre-teen’s world. What’s not to love? It had Raven Symone, Rob Kardashian’s future ex-girlfriend Adrienne Bailon, singing, dancing and Pat Butcher’s favourite pattern.
I mean, what’s not to love?
https://open.spotify.com/album/0QZr27D5umJtO3q4a16MvN
(Feminism was invented when they released Cinderella, just FYI.)
Yet, 15 years later, I’ve been left with some questions.
1. Are we really supposed to believe that someone willingly named their child Galleria?
Not to mention then, giving her the completely unrelated nickname of ‘Bubbles’.
2. Also, Jackal Johnson? Are you for real?
Straight up, looking like a model for Nine Crows. Someone else was Constellation, let’s not even get into that.
3. Are you really trying to tell me that The Cheetah Girls got into that festival in Barcelona without so much as social media post about it?
That would never fly this weather. Do you know how many messages I got about voting for people to Play The Picnic? Too many.
4. Were people really that concerned about Galleria’s dog?
Can’t see the video? Click here.
Surely a massive waste of emergency services’ time considering all they needed to do is sing to get the dog out? They shut down the power in the city?
Like, what? What?!
5. Where did they buy those cheetah print head bands?
I need one. For … Reasons.
6. Did they really need a Cheetah Distress signal?
I feel like Bruce Wayne’s lawyers should have gotten on that …
7. What did Galleria whisper in Derek’s ear?!
“Yeah can I get ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 3-in-1 and a can of Coke please? Thanks.”
8. Why was Galleria’s mam such a bad bitch?
9. And did the girls really have to hit us in the feels so hard when it came to finding out about Dorinda’s life?
The Wikipedia page for the movie reads:
Chanel assures Dorinda that she is Cheetah Girl for life because of who she is on the inside despite of her monetary troubles.”
Beautiful. Just … Beautiful.
10. What business did the news have recording the performance of ‘Cheetah Sisters’ in the streets?
Can’t see the video? Click here.
Any crime to report on lads? Nah?
