1. “What day is it at all?”
Cue incessant chatter about whether it’s Sunday or Thursday, and how the week has “no shape” to it at all.
(FYI: it’s Monday.)
2. “When are you leaving us?”
Ah yes, the inevitable conversation about when you’re leaving to go back to your real life. Purposely phrased to make you feel as guilty as possible.
3. “Will you take a bit of turkey with you? It’ll do you for a sandwich when you get in.”
All around the country, Irish Mams are forcing unwanted leftovers on their adult children. “You’ll take a bit of the cake I got in Aldi, won’t you? You might be glad of it when you get in this evening.”
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4. “Take some ____ off with you! I have no space in the fridge for it.”
Cut to you lugging a half empty tub of Philadelphia back up to Dublin with you.
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5. “Is there any news on at all today?”
Typical said after turning on RTÉ Radio 1 and hearing Ronan Collins on instead of Sean O’Rourke.
Total silly season.
6. “I might have another ham sandwich.”
Never mind the fact that you only ate an hour and a half ago. There’s food to be eaten and by God, you’re going to eat it.
7. “A million channels and not a single thing of use on the telly.”
Uttered at least 32 times in every Irish household during the festive period. (There may even be threats of just giving up all the channels and going back to Saorview.)
8. “Who’s she now? I haven’t seen her before.”
Usually said when an unfamiliar presenter is on the Six One or the Weather. Can entertain the family for hours.
9. “Will we open the Baileys?”
Sure, it might technically be Monday and you might have had more to drink than you care to think about, but it would be a shame to leave the Baileys go to waste…
Or so you tell yourself.
10. “Sure, I suppose we might as well go into the sales… to bring back everything we bought on Stephen’s Day.”
And the vicious circle continues.
