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11 reasons why you should be watching Deception

Based on episode 2 of TV3′s insane new drama.

This unhinged schoolboy will pop a cap in you if you don't tune in next week
This unhinged schoolboy will pop a cap in you if you don't tune in next week
Image: TV3

DECEPTION, TV3′s FIRST-ever domestically produced drama programme, screened its second episode last night.

The first instalment ended with an “I Am Your Father” – or more precisely, “That Murdered Career Criminal Next Door Was Your Father” – moment. And brought us the memorable sight of Leigh Arnold beating up her semi-comatose husband after he “faked” his own death.

How would they top that in episode 2? It’s a tough one to call. But the show is crazy, in a good way.* Here’s why you should be tuning in.

*IMHO alert.

1. It’s set on a ghost estate

Well, sort of. It’s set among six homes of the once-prestigious Bentonwood development, at least one of which is lying empty. Making it basically a symbol of Ireland today.

Bentonwood was the brainchild of faded rugby star Jack French, whose financial difficulties (and faking of his own death, in a distinctly half-hearted fashion) formed the subject of Episode 1.

You will be seeing a LOT of lingering shots of this sign…

… because it’s IRONIC. As solid as the man himself? HA.

When the dead guy was found in the empty house, it was on top of a pile of torn-up Bentonwood brochures. The irony is literally killing people.

2. It contains Leigh Arnold

Playing Caitriona, the surgically-enhanced socialite wife of Jack French. She makes dramatic faces:

She sucks at DIY. Here she is “putting up curtains”:

She lives in a half-finished estate house which is plainly a metaphor for her life:

And she gets lines like:

Leigh Arnold is amazing.

3. People are upset a lot

When they’re upset, they do things like… clutching a tree:

There’s Emma, daughter of Colleen (of whom more below).

She’s just found out her father (who she was told was a French sailor or something) was a career criminal from Limerick, who has just been found next door with his head smashed in. Which, in all fairness, would be upsetting.

Other options include waving an iron (Colleen):

And if you’re Michael, who suffers with unrequited love for Emma, and is the quiet type, furrowing your brow more than any brow has ever furrowed before:

4. The most stereotypical drug dealer ever

He’s a scumbag, OK? You can tell by his posture, his outfit, his facial expression, and everything else about him. HE DEALS DRUGS.

He also has stereotypical customers…

… and a stereotypical supplier, who looks suspiciously like the customer with a hoodie on. Is there a shortage of extras?

Anyway. Given all this, it’s maybe surprising that the dealer hasn’t been picked up by the cops. But you know, it makes for entertaining telly.

5. Colleen’s Face of Misery

Long-suffering mum Colleen works long hours as a taxi driver to claw her way out of a life of criminal association for the sake of her daughter Emma. Sadly, this entails doing nixers for the aforementioned worst drug dealer ever.

Also, her criminal ex-husband has been found in the empty house next door with a giant hole in his head.

So it’s not surprising that she has the best Misery Face ever. Also, you’ll be seeing it a LOT.

6. Drama happens in EXTREME CLOSE UP

Close:

Closer:

CLOSEST:

7. The sun never, ever shines

The Ireland of Deception is a place where the skies are always, always grey. (Much like the real Ireland.)

Hang on, is that some blue sky?

Aaaaand it’s gone.

8. The police are super subtle

Here’s one, doing some undercover surveillance:

9. This amazing ‘teenage rebellion’ montage

Furious with her mother for covering up her father’s real identity, Emma heads to a local boutique to replace her sensible rig-out (her mother wants her to be a medical student) with something more adventurous.

She makes some terrible decisions.

Mk 1: All The Purple Sequins

Mk 2: Line Dancer Crop-Top Circa 1994 (DIY edition)

Mk 3: I’ve Highlighted These Breasts In A Different Colour For You

Mk 4: Lacy Abomination

Abomilacion.

Inexplicably, this is the one she chooses.

Clothing is big in Deception. For Emma, it’s her encroaching grown-up-ness. For Caitriona, it’s the life she’s lost (thanks to Jack’s financial disaster). For Aoife Stacey, Caitriona’s friend, it’s her financial lifeline – she runs a shop which, not coincidentally, sells Caitriona’s cast-offs.

10. The best seduction scene ever

Courtesy of Owen, Jack French’s no-good playboy son.

11. This is the way episodes end

MYSTERY HAND POINTING GUN AT SCHOOLGIRL!

BELONGS TO BARELY-SEEN BULLIED SCHOOLBOY CHARACTER TROY!

WHERE IS THIS GOING?

We’ll be tuning in next week in the hope that it will get even crazier.

More: Celebrity Come Dine With Me 2013 – the best bits of every episode>

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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