‘MOIST’, ‘DISCHARGE’, ‘CLAMMY’ – some of the worst words in the English language.

‘Crevice’, ‘prolapse’, ‘crust’ – also dreadful.

But wait, what’s that? What horror do we see on the horizon?..

Niall Carson / PA Wire/Press Association Images Niall Carson / PA Wire/Press Association Images / PA Wire/Press Association Images

Ah yes, the truly appalling bastardisation ‘Leccy Piccy’, scourge of the Irish festival scene.

Don’t stand for it this weekend in Stradbally, friends. If someone seems like they might be about to utter the immortal phrase, stop them. Belt them with one of your 48 cans.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that the prevalence of ‘Leccy Piccy’ is in decline, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t remain vigilant, like these conscientious souls:

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In fact, let’s ban it completely. Fire up some legislation. Put it to bed.

‘Leccy Picnic’, while not nearly as loathsome, should also be banned.

Have a good ELECTRIC PICNIC everyone.

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