1. You have a practised eye for the best cardboard box to put your shopping in
2. You feel the secret thrill of the mystery bin
And know what day of the week to go in to get first pick of the specials.
3. You know that it’s physically impossible to only buy one thing
4. But also, the pain of impulse-buying too much ‘to save in the long run’… and having to carry it home.
5. You have bought presents there for people you love
6. You’ve attained Grandmaster level at matching odd-sounding products to their brand-name equivalents
7. You know which queue moves quickest
And have internally rated all the cashiers’ levels of expertise. “I’ll stand here, the dark-haired one is dead fast.”
8. You have developed a serious addiction to at least one brand of chocolate you’d never previously heard of
9. You know that not EVERY special offer is a good special offer
10. But some are just… very special indeed
11. You are aware that most of the wine descriptions would also fit the perfect man
12. You have known the confusion of trying to stack your groceries as the cashier fires them through at 100mph
13. So now you take your shopping over to the special shelf at the front, to pack at your leisure while making this face:
