1. You were led to believe that this would all be over by now
2. But on many mornings you’re still waking up with a new ‘friend’ emerging somewhere on your face
3. And always at the most annoying times, like before a party or a job interview. It’s nice to know that some things never change, we guess?
4. So you’re constantly plundering YouTube for new and improved spot-concealing tutorials. You’ve gotta keep up with the latest innovations in the genre
5. You KNOW you shouldn’t pick at your face. You’ve been through it a million times before, it’s proven to make things worse, you’ve no excuse
6. But then you catch sight of yourself up close in a mirror and the urge to squeeze is all-encompassing. You physically cannot stop your hands from forming pincer-like claws and going at it for all it’s worth
7. You’ve tried every concealer and spot-zapper in the biz, but very few can stand up to the glaring red beacons that set up shop on your face
8. But if you’ve found your miracle product you guard it jealously, like Smaug with his treasure
9. Even though you know it’s impossible, you still feel cheated when you remove a face mask to find your spots are still there
10. You swing from doing an extreme ten-step skincare routine to saying EFF IT and simply cleansing and moisturising
11. You regularly go to bed more spot cream than woman
12. And you’ve answered the door to someone forgetting that you look like a sort of abstract painting
13. You love a good high-exposure selfie. Wow, look at your perfect skin! So you had to give up your nose as collateral, but who cares?
14. You feel a near-destructive rage when you hear people with lovely skin saying they just wash with ‘soap and water’ or something equally unfussy
15. You can actually feel them brewing on your face these days before you see them. It’s unnerving
16. You’ve done all the requisite diet-tweaking and water-drinking, but nothing can stop the spots’ relentless onward march
17. So you’re at a loss. Maybe it’ll all come to you in your thirties?