IF YOU CHOSE to watch the BBC Eurovision commentary last night, you’ll know that Graham Norton was ON FIRE.
Here are some of his sassiest quips.
1. On Germany’s entry:
Forgive me ladies and gentlemen – maybe I’m just old and grumpy, but there isn’t one thing about this girl that doesn’t annoy me.
2. And again, because it obviously annoyed him very much:
They obviously had a very lengthy meeting about costume and set design, and they liked every single idea they had.
3. On the Netherlands’ display of over-confidence:
He put €1000 on himself to win. I hope he doesn’t need that money.
4. Just general shade towards Cyprus:
From one of the best songs in the competition… to Cyprus.
5. On Poland’s Weird Al Yankovic look-alike:
Enjoy that smile. That’s the last one you’ll see from him – he doesn’t seem to enjoy performing very much.
5. On Hungary’s rather dishy (sorry) entry:
You mustn’t worry about Freddie. If this doesn’t work out for him, he can always fall back on his hotel management degree. I feel he may be using it.
6. On Georgia’s seemingly never-ending song:
We will need Stephen Hawking to explain how that was only three minutes. It felt a lot longer.
7. When host Petra Wede announced that there were 14 songs to go:
She said that like it was a good thing.
8. On the general standard of the songs last night:
In the past few years at the semi-finals a lot of the dross has been filtered out. Not tonight.
9. On Serbia’s choreography:
There’s a strange backing dancer. It’s more like lurking than choreography, but he IS meant to be there.
10. On this bit of confusing staging:
One one side of the stage you have a Tibetan monk drumming, who knows why, and on the other you have three backing singers who on their CV must have said they were also backing dancers. They lied.
11. On Bulgaria’s bizarre get-up
She’s invested in some lovely light-up knee pads, which are great for gardening at night I suppose?
12. And one just for us back home here, on Israel’s backing dancers:
He comes with a mighty hoop. Sometimes his hoop lights up, sometimes it doesn’t… It’s temperamental.
<3 YOU, GRAHAM.
