1. Of all the things you could be bad at, you had to be bad at breathing
The one thing you really need to do. Thanks a lot, body!
2. And portrayals of asthmatics aren’t exactly that forgiving
Does asthma make you a nerd, or do you get asthma because you’re a nerd? Inquiring minds want to know.
3. PE and playground games were actual torture for you
After 30 seconds of running, your lungs were on fire, so you were always ‘on’ in Tip the Can. THANKS, BODY.
4. And these days you’re pretty sure you’d be the first to go in a zombie apocalypse
You wouldn’t be getting very far now would you, you poor dote.
5. Your greatest challenge? Hoofing a big breath into one of these things
Hey look, you got the marker farther than you did the last time. What a fun time for you!
6. But your greatest despair? Being given your first inhaler
*a bell tolls ominously in the distance*
7. And having to bring it everywhere with you
School tours, teenage discos, granny’s house, everywhere. And the bollocking you’d get if you forgot (or ‘forgot’) it!
8. And having to take a puff in in public
NOBODY LOOK AT ME.
9. Even so, the feeling of relief after taking one was and is unmatched
Sweet breath of life!
10. The power of your wheeze scares even you sometimes
It’s almost impressive? Terrifying, but impressive.
11. If you had to pick one thing to take with you to a desert island, it would be this
Ventolin: The real MVP.
12. The passing of the smoking ban was a cause for celebration for you
Secondhand smoke = Satan. This is the truth.
13. Any and every experience can be a breathtaking one
Cold weather. Walking through a perfume department. Laughing too much. Asthma is a hell of a ride!
14. And even as an adult, you still have this little buddy with you at all times
A true friend :’)
