1. This makes headline news
2. You’re not allowed to not drink tea
3. People don’t ‘trust you’ if you don’t drink alcohol
4. The rain. The interminable rain
5. The rain leading to people interminably saying “it would be a grand little country if only you could put a roof on it”
6. The consistent treachery of the Ireland football team
We can’t keep dining out on Italia ’90 and that goal against Italy in ’94 indefinitely.
7. Ditto Eurovision
The glory days of Johnny, Linda and Niamh are long gone.
7. People not knowing that Ireland isn’t part of Great Britain or the United Kingdom
8. Public transport schedules are usually just a suggestion
9. Not being able to tell Lidl and Aldi apart
10. Rampant toplessness on a sunny day
11. Dog shite everywhere
12. The roads
14. Bono making a show of us
15. Someone not lighting a candle for you
You know it’s stupid, but you have a sneaking suspicion that that’s why you got a D in French in your Inter.
16. The Late Late Show
Can’t live with it, can’t live without it.
17. Honours Maths
18. Superquinn RIP
At least we still have the sausages. What a time to be alive.
19. Edna Kenny
Our fearless leader.
20. Keeping the hot press tidy
This abyss of towels and pillow cases is every Irish person’s cross to bear.
21. St Patty’s Day
It’s not going anywhere you know.
22. These place names
23. Other countries thinking this is our only traffic problem
24. The legacy of Bertie’s yellow trousers
25. This
