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Dublin: 13 °C Sunday 22 April, 2018

For sale: 'Grotty', 'rickety' and 'slimy' Dublin house

This description is brilliantly honest.


LOOK AT THIS house. It’s for sale. Seems fine, right?

Well, the owners aren’t pulling any punches in their description. Here’s what you can expect:

Do not be misled by the attractive exterior of this double fronted village cottage with its dirty sash windows and rickety hall door; all is not well on the inside.Not entirely devoid of plumbing, there is a grotty kitchen with a cold tap. Not much of a bathroom although Howth has excellent public bathing in the nearby Balscadden Bay !

Untouched by the 21st century as far as conveniences for even the basic human decencies are concerned. Although, it is still habitable judging by the bed of rags, fag ends and bottles that used to adorn one corner.

The décor of the six principle rooms, some of which hangs inelegantly from the walls is revolting. Daylight peeps in here and there and the lack of insulation has encouraged the insects to move elsewhere.

The slimy rear garden is over grown although it appears to have a decent amount of space. It gets plenty of afternoon sun if you’d care to idle out there!

Otherwise there is not much wrong with this property.

That’s grand so. It’s yours for €229,000.

The photos bear out the story too:

For sale: 'Grotty', 'rickety' and 'slimy' Dublin house
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All pics:

There’s an explanation though. According to the description, it was inspired by famously honest estate agent Roy Brooks:

The late Roy Brooks was affectionately known as the “honest estate agent”. He will be 42 years deceased this September. His witty descriptions printed in the small adds of the Sunday Times and Observer became famous due to his unique humour in describing the run down properties he sold in 1960’s London.

See the full ad on (owned by Distilled Media) here. Journal Media Ltd has shareholders – Brian and Eamonn Fallon – in common with Distilled Media Group. via Reddit Ireland.

In pictures: Wow, this rental house has an unexpected view>

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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