THINKING OF GOING ‘out out’ tonight?
You’ll be seeing these things, so.
1. The Lads
Identifiable by their extravagant shouting, legs-akimbo seating positions and liberal use of nicknames ending in “-o”. (By the way, if you’re seeing them from this angle, something has gone wrong.)
2. The Girls
Identifiable by their extravagant shouting, elaborate hairstyles and ‘wolf pack’ pavement domination.
3. A couple shifting in a really uncomfortable public way
Are they using their hands? They’re probably using their hands.
4. A girl who can’t walk in her shoes
5. Someone lurking awkwardly at the edge of the dancefloor with a pint
Source: Neil T
They feel too self-conscious to dance but want to show enthusiasm. So they… okay, it’s always a he… he just stands there bobbing quietly to himself and hoping his friends come back when MGMT finishes.
6. A couple having an argument
With crying. Always the crying.
Double points if they then make it up and become number 3.
7. An awkward work night out
Looking a bit uncomfortable in their shirts. Usually one older person who is pretending to understand their younger colleagues’ in-depth analysis of The Wanted.
The ‘cool’ members of the office will have removed their lanyards.
8. A mortifying chat-up attempt
Watch the victim stare into the middle distance, hoping desperately for someone to come back from the bathroom.
9. A third wheel
Or a fifth wheel. Whatever.
10. Two people trying to have a chat somewhere really loud
Source: Neil T
Who you know just came to the club because they wanted another drink, and are now regretting it.
11. A guy losing it on his own on the dancefloor
With possibly dangerous consequences for all around.
12. And finally, queues in the takeaway at 3am
Source: The Travelling Bum
Complete with people eating things they would never normally consider eating, and numbers 1 through 11 all over again. Have a good night!
Anything we’ve missed? Let us know in the comments…