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Dublin: 9 °C Thursday 28 March, 2024
going out out

12 special sights you'll see on an Irish night out

Heading out tonight? Keep your eyes peeled for these.

THINKING OF GOING ‘out out’ tonight?

You’ll be seeing these things, so.

1. The Lads

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Identifiable by their extravagant shouting, legs-akimbo seating positions and liberal use of nicknames ending in “-o”. (By the way, if you’re seeing them from this angle, something has gone wrong.)

2. The Girls

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Identifiable by their extravagant shouting, elaborate hairstyles and ‘wolf pack’ pavement domination.

3. A couple shifting in a really uncomfortable public way

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Are they using their hands? They’re probably using their hands.

4. A girl who can’t walk in her shoes

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Unfortunate.

5. Someone lurking awkwardly at the edge of the dancefloor with a pint

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They feel too self-conscious to dance but want to show enthusiasm. So they… okay, it’s always a he… he just stands there bobbing quietly to himself and hoping his friends come back when MGMT finishes.

6. A couple having an argument

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With crying. Always the crying.

Double points if they then make it up and become number 3.

7. An awkward work night out

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Looking a bit uncomfortable in their shirts. Usually one older person who is pretending to understand their younger colleagues’ in-depth analysis of The Wanted.

The ‘cool’ members of the office will have removed their lanyards.

8. A mortifying chat-up attempt

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Watch the victim stare into the middle distance, hoping desperately for someone to come back from the bathroom.

9. A third wheel

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Or a fifth wheel. Whatever.

10. Two people trying to have a chat somewhere really loud

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Who you know just came to the club because they wanted another drink, and are now regretting it.

11. A guy losing it on his own on the dancefloor

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With possibly dangerous consequences for all around.

12. And finally, queues in the takeaway at 3am

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Complete with people eating things they would never normally consider eating, and numbers 1 through 11 all over again. Have a good night!

Anything we’ve missed? Let us know in the comments…

The 9 types of dancer in an Irish nightclub>

The 13 people you will meet in the pub tonight>

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