HAVE A BIRTHDAY in January is zero craic. Here’s why.
1. If it’s on January 1, God love you
YAAAAY happy New Year! Also… happy birthday to you, I suppose.
2. Not to mention the hangover
If your birthday is on New Year’s Day, can you ever enjoy it without a hangover?
3. Loads of people decide to do dry January
Therefore neglect to go out on the piss with you to commiserate your inevitable march toward death.
4. Everyone is broke after Christmas
What do you mean you want a birthday present, we got you a Christmas one only FOUR WEEKS AGO.
5. It’s often the longest month in the pay day year
If you get paid monthly and your birthday is on the day before this pay day, you’re going to have a bad time. Pre-Christmas pay day was at least fifty million years ago.
6. The general post-Christmas fear kicks in just as you begin to feel excited
Happy birthday to me…! Now, back to bed as I’m back to work tomorrow.
7. Your present is definitely going to be a regift or something shite from the sales
Hold on, YOU gave Siobhain that Tommy Hilfiger fragrance set first. She didn’t even change the wrapping paper.
8. Nothing present-worthy will happen rest of the year
DAMN those people with July birthdays, damn them to heeelll.
9. As a kid in school you never got to be the centre of attention
If you were unlucky enough to have it fall during the school holidays, g’luck getting a bit of a celebration in the classroom.