1. The first time you saw him, you were like, “Who is this man?” and were surprised to learn that he was the manager of Liverpool.
2. You just assumed all football managers looked like that fella who may or may not have drank a pint of wine.
3. But this bespectacled German with kind eyes completely changed your opinion.
4. Cue you frantically Googling ‘jurgen klopp married’.
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5. Your crush quickly intensified and you’ve been known to smile fondly at photos of him hugging Liverpool players.
6. And nothing brings you more delight than watching him say, “Boom.”
7. He just seems so nice!!!! He has such a positive attitude!!!! He’s so passionate that he broke his glasses celebrating a goal that one time!!!! He got a hair transplant and he’s not one bit embarrassed or ashamed!!!!
8. Ugh, what a cool guy.
9. You bet Jurgen Klopp would be great with kids. (In fact, you know he is because you’ve watched this charming as hell video 100 times.)
10. He’d always be up for kicking a ball around with them while other adults chatted inside.
11. He’d engage in horseplay – throwing kids up in the air and the like – but he’d always know when enough was enough.
12. And you just *know* that he’d be super generous if he surprised a kid on the Toy Show. (Make it happen, Tubs.)
13. Jurgen Klopp isn’t afraid to pat another man on the arse and you know what? You respect that.
14. Also: you bet Jurgen Klopp is really into cuddling.
15. You’d have no hassle getting Jurgen Klopp to dance at weddings. He’d be up dancing to Lionel Richie’s All Night Long at 10pm, no begging necessary. And everyone would be like, “Wow, Jurgen isn’t that good a dancer, but he’s so confident he just gets away with it!”
16. Also: Jurgen Klopp just innately knows how to slow dance. You don’t need to advise him about where to place his hand. He just knows and takes command of the situation.
17. In short? What a dreamboat.
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Love you, Jurgen.
Signed,
Every man, woman, child and animal on the planet
