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Dublin: 15 °C Tuesday 14 August, 2018
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5 ways the Kanye/Jay-Z feud would be different if they were Irish

Their mams wouldn’t have let it get this far.

AH LADS. IF there’s one thing I hate, it’s a falling out, especially between two former bezzie m8s.

All is not well between House West and House, eh, Z, after Jay-Z seemingly made a dig at Kanye on his new album ’4:44′.

Source: Kevin Mazur

On the track Kill Jay Z, he raps:

“You walkin’ around like you invincible/You dropped outta school, you lost your principles/I know people backstab you, I felt bad too/But this ‘fuck everybody’ attitude ain’t natural/But you ain’t a Saint, this ain’t KumbaYe/But you got hurt because you did cool by ‘Ye”

The lyrics supposedly reference a $20 million advance Jay-Z gave Kanye for his ‘Saint Pablo’ tour to cover expenses.

Their friendship has been strained for some time now, with Kanye going as far as claiming Jay-Z hasn’t called him since wife Kim Kardashian was robbed at gunpoint in Paris. :(

But how did we get here? And why?! Only a wet week ago, the two were dropping a collab album and having the time of their lives.

It’s hard not to wonder how differently things would pan out if the lads were just two MCs from down the road.

1. For starters, Jay-Z would never have lent him the money

He’s not paid ’til Friday, he owes his mam money from last week and the lads are getting on to him about buying a Longitude ticket before they sell out.

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2. There would have been no diss track, but a ‘call out’ video

Filmed in stunning 240p, Jay-Z would probably have asked Beyoncé to film his message for Kanye, in which he’d question how hard of a man he was, and how he would “bash his head in”, probably.

The location of the fight would have also been announced – behind the school or the church car park usually serve best for fights that rival McGregor vs. Mayweather.

Source: newsworld996/YouTube

3. The two gals would have been flat out sub-tweeting each other

Not that Kim and Bey were ever each other’s biggest fans, but there definitely would have been some passive aggressive social media posts.

“What goes around comes around hun …” *insert nail polish emoji here*

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4. The aforementioned scrap would have lasted less than 5 minutes

Naturally, someone would have filmed the whole thing (probably Kris Jenner) and uploaded the footage to Facebook.

This would quickly have been followed by a visit to the principal’s office, and a suspension for the two of them. So disappointing, two bright young boys like themselves blagarding.

5. Their mammies would have made them apologise to each other

Mortified at their carry-on, they would have been marched down to the end of the estate to say sorry.

No such as “boys will be boys” with mammy, even if you’re worth several million dollars.

Now, can they just go back to being ‘Real Friends’? Please?

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About the author:

Fionnuala Jones

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