FACT: KATE BECKINSALE is hilarious on Instagram and if you’re not following her, you need to rectify that immediately.
Her captions are *100 emoji*
The time she advised women on what to do should they be confronted with manspreading.
“If a man pulls the Basic Instinct legcross on you onstage it’s important to maintain a firm grip on your microphone and look him dead in his eyeballs, unperturbed #peniscontest”
The time she admitted her boobs were itchy while standing next to Drake. (Relatable.)
One of us has just won 13 Billboard Awards and one of us has incredibly itchy tits from their outfit and is handling it like an adult woman @bbmas@champagnepapi congratulations
The time she opened up about her troublesome cat. “This is my life now.”
My mother bought a giant three way leopard print tube for the cat and every time I try to put it back in its bag it kicks me hard in the face three ways so this is my life now
The time she corrected a fan who thought she had met her.
@felicety_fore_you had an encounter with a waxwork of Cheryl Cole and thought it was me. I am just happy wax Cheryl was pleasant.. I have been mistaken before for a piece of petrified wood and a medical dummy and both of them were assholes apparently
The time she poked fun at this truly mortifying photo shoot and encouraged others to “just say no” to licking guitars.
Let’s learn from this about saying “no thank you,that’s very much not my vibe but thanks for asking me and do feel free to lick your guitar yourself”
The time she posted this questionnaire from when she was a child…
My name was the only thing holding me back from the farm and the mine #tbt age 7
The time she took a photo of her ex Michael Sheen surrounded by massive balls.
Michael just suddenly all at once found that he had had enough of great big balls
Or the time she took a photo of his builder’s arse.
What were the qualities you were looking for in the father of your child? Honestly, just that je ne sais quoi and an affinity for rabbits
The time she dispelled these Mam medical myths once and for all.
You can’t catch a cold from going out with wet hair or a haemorrhoid from sitting on a stone step , just in case anyone else talked to my mother during her medical lying streak of the 1980′s and 90s
Another embarrassing photo shoot!
Summer’s here. sniff someone’s armpit to prove you like them #fbf
Yes, even Kate Beckinsale looks at photos from nights out and thinks, “What am I doing with my hand?”
I’m not sure what compelled me to attempt to grip Orlando’s ear but sometimes you have to go with your instincts
It’s called self-care, okay?
It’s always good in the face of bad weather and political change to attempt to have control by putting an almost DEFINITELY useless expensive wet thing on your under eyes
When you can’t read the word ‘SMEG’ without bursting into laughter.
One day this will stop being funny to me. And I’ll be able to enter people’s kitchens and the home appliances department of John Lewis and see one without shrieking and wanting to take a picture of my brother standing next to it
