1. The concept of “pre-drinking” is alien to you
You mean we’re going to drink more later?
2. You have been known to get so sloshed at pre-drinks that you’ve just had to call it a night
Alright, I’m off, lads.
3. Stories of other people’s nights out fill you with fear
“You had *three* drinks on a school night? I’d be in bed for the day.”
4. Because you’ve been known to get a belter of a hangover after two glasses of wine
5. As a result, there’s no such thing as a “cheeky night out” on a Wednesday
No “going out for one and ending up in Zaytoon at 3am” for you!
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6. Rounds are a living nightmare
You can’t keep up with everyone else, but you also don’t want to seem stingy by not partaking.
Argh!
7. Whenever you do take part in rounds, it doesn’t end well
Everyone else after three drinks: *talking normally, if a little loudly*
You after three drinks: *unable to stop hiccuping and conscious that your face is very flushed*
8. You have definitely uttered the phrase, “I’m sorry for ruining your night” at some point in your life
Your mates have seen a lot.
9. And you’ve sent your fair share of embarrassing drunk texts
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10. YOU HAVE BEEN THIS TEEN
Except maybe you weren’t still a teen…
it’s 8 o’clock sort it out
11. Every so often, you trick yourself into thinking that you’ve somehow developed a stronger tolerance for alcohol…
“Yeah g’wan, I’ll have a shot.”
12. And the next day you say something to the effect of…
13. You’re reluctant to call yourself a lightweight
Instead you’ll use the following excuses to explain your drunkenness:
- “I didn’t have dinner.”
- “The alcohol just hit me when I went out in the fresh air.”
- “I actually think I had a bad pint or something.”
All the while, your friends are like, “Nah, you’re just a lightweight, hun.”
14. But it’s time to say it loud and say it proud…
15. I’M A LIGHTWEIGHT!
No shame in it.
EMBRACE IT!
