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Here's absolutely everything worth watching on telly this Christmas Day

IT’S CHRIST-MAAAAS.

WE’VE GOT A long day of eating and drinking ahead of us. Here’s what to watch on telly.

Our picks are italicised.

PastedImage-27554 Source: BBC

For the kids…

  • The Bear (Channel 4, 7.20am) Cute animation from the makers of The Snowman.
  • The Little Reindeer (RTE 2, 8.15am) A lovely little story about a young boy who gets a reindeer for Christmas.
  • Ice Age, a Mammoth Christmas (Channel 4, 8.40am) A short starring the cast of Ice Age.
  • CBeebies’ The Snow Queen (BBC 1, 9am) An adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s tale.
  • Merry Madagascar (RTE 2, 10.15am) A seasonal short with the characters of Madagascar.
  • Despicable Me, Minion Madness (RTE 2, 12.05pm) A short mini movie based on the minions.

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Movies

  • Bee Movie (BBC 2, 7.40am) A bee tries to sue the world. It’s cute though.
  • North by Northwest (RTE 1, 7.45am) A darkly comic Hitchcock thriller with an ad exec pursued by spies who mistake him for a double agent, and police who think he’s a hitman.
  • Twelve Dates of Christmas (e4, 8.10am) If you’re feeling a rom com at this time of the morning.
  • Kung Fu Pana, Secrets of the Furious Five (RTE 2, 8.45pm) One for the kids.
  • Shrek Forever After (RTE 2, 10.40pm) Shrek gets depressed when no one finds him scary anymore so makes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin who screws him over.
  • The Christmas Choir (TV 3, 11.40am) An accountant is dumped three weeks before Christmas but joins a choir that makes everything ok. Cheesefest.
  • Importance of Being Earnest (BBC 2, 12.15pm) For the cultured among you.
  • Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (RTE 2, 12.30pm) In case you’re lucky enough to have someone in the house who hasn’t seen it.
  • Stickman (RTE 1, 12.50pm) Half hour animated short based on a children’s book by Julia Donaldson.
  • Dr Dolittle 2 (e4, 1.15pm) We’ll be honest, there’s better stuff on.
  • Toy Story 3 (BBC 1, 1.20pm) If you fancy a cry.

PastedImage-89896 Source: Brown Bag films

Angela’s Christmas (RTE 1, 1.50pm) Ruth Negga lends her tones to this lovely story set in Ireland in the early 1900s.

  • Scrooged (Channel 4, 2.45pm) A classic retelling of the Dickens story.
  • Finding Nemo (RTE 1, 14.20pm) You know this one already, watch it! It’s 15 years old!
  • Cinderella (BBC 1, 3.10pm) Live action version of the classic.
  • Big Hero 6 (RTE 1, 3.50pm) Pixar’s lovely story of a boy and his giant inflatable robot.
  • E.T. (RTE 2, 4.15pm) Spielberg’s classic.

Spectre (RTE 1, 5.30pm) The latest Bond thriller.

PastedImage-53068 Source: Youtube

  • Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (RTE 2, 6.05pm) Don’t worry, it’s the old one.
  • Chicken Run (TV3, 4.20pm) The story of a band of chickens doomed to lay eggs all of their lives.
  • Dumbo (Channel 4, 4.30pm) The Disney classic, catch it before it gets remade.
  • Home Alone (Channel 4, 5.50pm) It’s not Christmas without it.
  • Snow White and the Huntsman (e4, 7.30pm) An updated version of the fairytale starring Chris Hemsworth .
  • Deck The Halls (be3, 8pm) Comedy about two neighbours who fight over their Christmas lights. Danny DeVito stars.

Brooklyn (RTE 1, 9.35pm) Saoirse Ronan stars in this wonderful story of a young Irish immigrant in 1950′s Brooklyn.

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Guardians of the Galaxy (RTE 2, 10pm) Marvel’s beloved action adventure.

  • Mrs Henderson Presents (BBC 2, 11.05pm) Musical comedy starring Judi Dench.
  • The Field (RTE 1, 11.20pm) Drama about a man’s fight to keep his land in 1930′s Ireland. We’ve reached peak da, pop open another can of Guinness.
  • Get Him to the Greek (RTE 2, 11.50pm) Jonah Hill tries to get Russell Brand to do what he’s told.
  • My Week with Marilyn (BBC 2, 12.45am) A tale of a young studio assistant’s relationship with Marylin Monroe.

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Comedy

  • Mrs Brown’s Boy’s Christmas Special (RTE 1, 9pm) Agnes is worried about Rory have plastic surgery and Cathy has a date with a handsome man she met on the internet.
  • Brendan Grace, A Night at the Opera House (TV 3, 9pm) Brendan performs at the Cork Opera House. Bottler will be there.
  • Alan Carr’s Christmas Chatty Man (Channel 4, 10pm) He’ll be joined by Noel Gallagher, Christian Slater, John Bishop, Lorraine Kelly, Adam Lambert, Dua Lipa, and more.
  • Three hundred Years of French and Saunders (BBC 1, 11.35pm) I personally cannot wait for this thirtieth-anniversary show.

PastedImage-34411 Source: BBC

Soaps

  • Emmerdale (TV 3, 7pm) What tragedy is in store THIS Christmas? Just move, lads.
  • Coronation Street (TV 3, 8pm) Who will have a ‘mare this year?
  • Eastenders (RTE 2, 9pm) A whole hour of drama.

Music

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  • A Kylie Christmas (Sky 1, 11am) Throw this on while cooking dinner.
  •  Top of the Pops Christmas Special (BBC 1, 12.20pm) It’s tradition now. Ed Sheeran, Dua Lipa, The Script, James Arthur and Stormzy perform, among many others.
  •  Tom Jones and Beverley Knight’s Gospel Christmas (BBC 2, 9pm) This will be a wild ride.
  • Michael Buble’s Christmas in Hollywood (TV 3, 12.15am) It’s his time of year.

General Interest

PastedImage-65447 Source: ITV

  • Snow Chick, a Penguin’s Tale (BBC 1, 11.10am) Documentary narrated by Kate Winslet about an emperor penguin’s first month on the ice.
  • Oklahoma, BBC Proms (BBC 2, 1.40pm) Squeal.
  • Blankety Blank Christmas Special (TV 3, 2.10pm) If gameshows are your thing.
  • Snow Animals (RTE 2, 2.50pm) Gordon Buchanan meets the animals who live in winter wonderlands.
  • The Queen’s Christmas Broadcast (BBC 1, 3pm) Lol. Will Megs get a shoutout?
  • A Christmas Chase, Celebrity Special (TV 3, 3.15pm) A bumper Christmas version.
  • Gogglesprogs (e4, 4.55pm) A Christmas edition of kids watching TV.
  • Doctor Who (BBC 1, 5.30pm) Fans, take note.

Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special (BBC 1, 6.30pm) All your faves back together.

  • Call The Midwife (BBC 1, 7.40pm) A Christmas special of the drama.

The Great Christmas Bake Off (Channel 4, 7.40pm) The first of two festival specials.

PastedImage-34031 Source: Channel 4

  • All Ireland Day, The Hurling Final (RTE 2, 8.05pm) Documentary from the hurling final.
  • First Dates at Christmas (Channel 4, 9pm) Because we can’t stop watching this dating show.
  • Made in Chelsea’s Christmas Ding Dong (e4, 10pm) A special episode of the posh pals.

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