JALAPENOS.
Some of us just can’t hack them at all.
1. First of all, you just can’t enjoy them because they set your mouth on fire
You shouldn’t have to have a pint of milk just to tolerate some food.
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2. They absolutely ruin otherwise delicious foods
How do you turn a beautiful experience like eating pizza into a living nightmare? Simple! Just stick a jalapeno pepper on there.
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3. Let’s be real: jalapeno peppers are the wasps of the vegetable world
You: “Do you really want to hurt me?”
Jalapenos: “Yes.”
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4. Have you ever rubbed your eye after handling a jalapeno? Because it is the worst
Damn you, jalapenos. Sneaky bastards.
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5. But seriously, it spoils everything
Guacamole, nachos, pizza. All made worse by jalapenos.
6. There’s nothing more tragic than getting a plate of nachos covered in jalapenos and being like, “Oh great, now I have to pick all these jalapenos off”
7. And sometimes they just sneak up on you out of nowhere
“Ooh, is that a green pepper there? NOPE NOPE NOPE.”
8. If not enjoying the sensation of your mouth being on fire makes you a wimp, so be it.
*downs pint of milk*
