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Dublin: 4 °C Monday 19 March, 2018

11 things you will always notice if you use public transport in Ireland

Shout-out to the person who chooses the outside seat.

UNLESS YOU’RE PRETTY fortunate, you probably use public transport on a near regular, if not daily, basis.

And whether you take the bus, get the Luas or rely on the train, you will invariably meet the same type of people or encounter the same issues, over and over.

And we’ll be honest, the welcome ones are few and far between.

We mean, think about…

1. The person who doesn’t say thanks.

Your driver could take the wrong route entirely and deliver you to a destination miles from home, and Christ knows you will still thank him.

You might try to fight it on principle, but you can be sure that by the time your foot hits that path, you will have blurted a mumbled ‘thanks’, and reluctantly accepted that it’s simply part of your DNA.

And this is why most of us will notice the one lunatic who chooses not to thank the driver. What kind of game are they playing?


2. The lone can rattling and rolling upstairs.

No bus journey is complete without the sound of an empty can making its way up and down the upper deck of a Dublin Bus.

You will try to tune it out, until it finds its way to the stairs – which it always does – and begins its apologetic descent towards you.

3. The person who chooses to sit on the ledge on the Luas.

There is always one person who will happily park their arse in that small gap between the four-seater and the two-seater at rush hour.

Their outstretched legs will block the walkway between carriages and everyone will secretly hate them because that’s just the Law of the Luas.

what were you thinking

4. The person who gives up their seat.

Most of us tend to notice the tense moment someone offers a seat to someone else.

We know it shouldn’t warrant that much attention, but we can’t help but gawp and wonder how it will turn out.

Will they take it? Will they get pissy? Should you have offered yours?

5. The person who doesn’t give up their seat.

Even though you know offering your seat can be a nerve-wracking moment, you always feel a pang of irritation when a fellow passenger doesn’t offer theirs in a situation which calls for it.

What’s their problem? We mean, who reared them?


6. The person who competes for ‘your’ seat.

You’re both equal distance from a seat which is about to be vacated, and you’re watching each other like hawks.

Cue frantic calculations, tense shuffling and an unnatural desire not to lose out.

7. The person who leaves rubbish.

When a person chooses to use their commute as an opportunity to enjoy a one-person picnic, you generally can’t help but notice.

And when that same person decides to leave every last wrapper behind them, you know it’ll be a long time before you forget their face.

Like not saying thanks to the driver, refusing to clean up after yourself is a cardinal sin.

disgust me

8. The person reading in a foreign language.

When you’re wedged between dozens of other commuters with little to no space to do your own reading, it’s natural your gaze might fall on another person’s reading material, right?

And whether it’s a text, a work document or a book, there’s something especially interesting if it’s in a foreign language.  Nah, we can’t understand a word, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to stop gawking over their shoulder.

9. The person who sits on the outside seat.

The inside seat is free, so why are you being the most annoying person on the planet?

And why do you think your bag warrants its own seat? Put it on your lap, cop yourself on and scoot over.

10. The person who moves from the seat next to you.

In the realm of things that really shouldn’t offend you , this is definitely up there.

On the bright side, you’re now rocking a double-seater by yourself – the commuter’s dream – and yet here you are feeling vaguely embarrassed by the fact a stranger would rather sit by themselves instead of beside you.

11. The person who tops up when they don’t need to.

There is a special place in hell for people who create queues at rush hour by topping up a leap card which has sufficient funds on it for the journey.

Unless the validator machine has specifically ordered you to make a purchase, stay the hell away from the top-up machine, and make room for the rest of us who are actually in the minus category.

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