SANTA HAS IT EASY in his sleigh, doesn’t he?
While he’s lording it about in the sky on Christmas Eve, the rest of us have to deal with the long and arduous process of getting home by road – or worse, by public transport.
Luckily for us, public transport at Christmas is the most cramped, sweaty, hellish experience imaginable, and we’ll have to share that experience with all these people.
The person who should have booked an extra seat for all their presents
And who’s giving constant worried looks to the luggage racks to make sure no one has made off with them.
The person who IS using an extra seat for all their presents
Rude and uncalled for.
The people standing/sitting on the floor for the whole journey
It’s not fair, but hey – it’s better than not getting home at all, right? Right?
The people who arrive at the station hours in advance
They’re getting their seat, and no one is going to stop them. Except maybe some brazen so-and-so who slips into it first.
The people arguing over seats
“But I booked this seat.” “Your name isn’t on it.” “Well if you’d just look at my ticket…” Why is the inspector never there when you need him?
The person who thought it would be OK just to turn up on the day
It never occurred to them that most people book their Christmas train/bus tickets MONTHS in advance. You don’t want to feel smug, but…
The person who has just managed to catch the train
They’re hot, they’re sweaty, and they feel like they’ve just lived the airport scene in Home Alone 2, but damn it if they’re not relieved.
The person who is at their breaking point
They almost missed the train, they have to stand all the way to Athlone, they have nowhere to stash their presents and they just realised they’ve left their mother’s gift at home. You should probably give them a hug.