THE NOUGHTIES GAVE us a lot of things – Kardashians, Justin Bieber and the iPod.
Similarly, hetero heartthrobs came and went – where’s Chad Michael Murray now? Is he ok?
However, one man stood head and shoulders above the rest of them, and that man was Jamie Darling.
No man has ever commanded such a presence on screen. On par with that of Daniel Day-Lewis, Darling’s method acting needs to be seen to be believed. For example, here he is maintaining a facade of stone while children aged between 9 and 11 not have a fucking clue what UHT stands for.
Can’t see the video? Click here.
The New Zealand native was this country’s most overlooked star in the ’00s. Where were the people who campaigned on social media for Leo’s missing Oscar when Jamie wallowed in the RTÉ canteen with not an IFTA to his name?
Every day, Jamie came in, put in that oversized striped referee’s shirt and got the job done – “the job” being:
[Jamie Darling] will be watching the runners every move and anyone who doesn’t complete the zone in time will be disqualified by Jamie and sent back to their search rooms with no points to play for.
Jamie will also be carrying out his usual referee duties of keeping the scores and setting some tough questions for the search rooms!”
In a way, it was unfair to describe Jamie as merely a ‘referee’. He was a facilitator of knowledge. In a day when The Chasers are worshipped, where was Jamie’s hero status?
And on top of that, Jamie was tasked with keeping tally of the score. Mental arithmetic is now a lost art; a skill which many a millennial would clamour to get endorsed for on LinkedIn. Jamie was Carol Vorderman, Stephen Fry and Nigel Owens all in one. No modern TV presenter could compete.
To be honest, it was a shame that Jamie wasn’t further utilised in other series. There’s a serious gap RTÉ’s current progamming schedule for him. Jamie Darling could have been Craig Doyle but not shite. And if not – where was his episode of Who Do You Think You Are? Because I want to KNOW, RTÉ.
Week in, week out, Jamie had to watch Stephen from Donegal who likes dogs and the rest of the blue team shoot up the leaderboard in there quest for knowledge and iPod Nanos. And for what? I’d go as far as saying Jamie was the most underappreciated person the Young People’s Department.
So the next time you enjoy some trivial trivia, or piss yourself at a group of children dressed in primary colour boiler suits, take a think about the person who really mattered; the person Ireland turned their back on – Jamie. Darling.
