BUS EIREANN, JJ Kavanagh’s, Matthew’s, to name but a few – the humble regional bus service is integral to keeping Ireland ticking over nicely.
Certain unique elements make a regional bus journey like no other travel experience on earth. Here are just a few of those things.
A particular feeling of dread when someone wants to sit beside you
It’s different on a regional bus, with hours and hours stretching out before you with no escape and no personal space. PLEASE DON’T SIT THERE.
Stand clear, luggage doors OPERATIN’
A highlight of travelling with Bus Éireann is the man who jauntily announces that the luggage doors are opening. Who is this man? What does he look like?
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Well? Does he?
Getting a ten minute break on long journeys
Just enough time to get in a toilet break, a sup of tay and a bag of crisps before you begin the next two/three hours of torture.
Constantly battling with the air con
One minute you’re freezing. The next minute you’re pressing your face against the cold glass of the window, praying for water, a fan, another rest stop…anything.
WiFi? You’re joking
Advocates of ‘looking up’ will be pleased to know that WiFi on a bus is entirely dependent on a few factors – location of bus, location of passenger on bus, gravitational pull of the moon, etc…
Attempting to solve the timetable riddle
So the 5.45pm bus to Killarney goes every day except Fridays and Sundays?
And the 8.30am service to Letterkenny runs only on the second Thursday of every month with access granted only to those who enter a secret code into the ticket machine?
…Got it.
Having to go through every small town and village
There’s no guarantees, but someone just might want to get on there. So we’ll go there.
At least you get to see the country! Right?!
And realising that the bus is dominated by one of two groups of people
Students.
Senior citizens.
Everyone else is in the minority, and you better accept that.
