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13 of the most depressing rentals in Dublin right now

Meanwhile, all of the half decent properties are getting used on Airbnb.

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LIVING IN IRELAND is tough. You can try and live at home into your thirties saving for a deposit for a mortgage and be shamed for living with your parents, and then by the time you have the deposit you thought you needed ten years ago, house prices will probably double.

Or alternatively, you can waste upwards of €12,000 a year renting a room from a landlord who is seemingly trying to infantalise you by making the property feel like a Barbie playhouse where the kitchen (which consists of a mini-fridge and microwave) is 13cm away from your bed.

Have some sympathy for renters in Dublin.

1. This studio apartment would be a dream bedroom for a child

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What child doesn’t want a TV and a fridge underneath their bunkbed? And to cook all of their food from a microwave? Any child can have this studio apartment in Dublin 7 if they can cough up €1,000 a month.

2. For just €950 you can live in this one room studio apartment

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This one’s in Cabra. It is not clear whether or not the magnifying glass is included.

3. For €825 per month you can have the privilege of looking at your kitchen sink while you go to sleep

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It probably makes getting up for breakfast a lot easier though. Location? Terenure.

4. If you want a more mature bunkbed in Dublin 7, this option is available for €1,000 per month

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Who knew so many adults were willing to pay to sleep in bunkbeds. From another angle, it’s apparent that there’s no shortage of chairs or basket storage in this one.

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5. This bedroom that looks like someone dragged a bed into a stockroom costs €800 per month in Harold’s Cross

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It doesn’t even include walls that touch the ceiling.

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6. This one looks like something you would whip up while playing Sims when the family started out with a net worth of §1500.

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In reality, it’s a property in Donnybrook that is just freshly reduced to €660 per month from it’s previous price – €680. Surely saving €20 will be enough win anyone over.

It looks like a character from Father Ted lived here and it has been perfectly preserved since.

7. This studio apartment for €890 per month in Rathmines

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If you worked on minimum wage for 39 hours a week, you would earn €1400 a month. If you rented this apartment you could spend well more than half of your monthly wages to live here and have about €500 to last you the rest of the month. Unfortunately, that is reality for a lot of people.

The biggest benefit about this studio is not the lava lamp but rather the fact that the fridge is not visible from the bed. A rare find on the Dublin rental market.

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8. This attic room in Rathmines costs €1,050 per month

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Not sure what the couch is for because if you try fit more than one person in that room at a time, they’ll probably waste your precious oxygen. That’s probably a scientific fact, considering this room isn’t a lot bigger than a coffin.

Imagine if the tap was leaking and you had to lie beside it in bed listening to water drop all night. There’s nowhere to run.

9. This studio that’s so bad that the bed died and turned into a skeleton

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Yeah, it’s Rathmines. Where else? €800. Hopefully they throw in a mattress too.

10. This property that includes this photo (which highly suggests that the floor is one of the best features)

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There’s something foreboding about a photograph with a time-stamp on it. In another picture you can see that the bed is right under that exact window which means that either the house is haunted, or they really do want to go out of their way to show off that Beech wood floor.

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See? Something eery about that. Not as eery as the price though. This one costs €1,000 (reduced from €1,100) and is located in Rathgar.

11. This cottage in Bluebell costs €1,200 per month (previously it was €1,350)

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It’s not a good sign when you need to bring an extra radiator into a room and place it right in front of the built in radiator. Here’s one of two bedrooms in the property:

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If you’re considering renting this house, bring a psychic medium with you to assess how many ghosts you’ll be taking on.

12. This loghouse in Knocklyon is pretty, but it’s €650 and it does not appear to contain a bed

Edit (06/07/17): A reader has gotten in touch with us by email with information on this property, so we would like to update this article accordingly. This property is not a shed, but rather a ‘loghouse’. Apologies. They did not comment on whether or not it contained a bed. 

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There can’t be more than 4 sq. feet of this room that the pictures don’t show… So where’s the bed? Is there anywhere to cook food? Or do you just patiently sit in this shed all night waiting for work to start like a robot? Even on the property description, there’s no mention of a bed.

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Are you supposed to sleep on the couch from Monday to Friday?

13. This Stoneybatter apartment that contains dining chairs but no table that costs €1,050 per month

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Here’s those chairs from another angle.

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Definitely a selling point.

 

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