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9 of the most ridiculous chain mails we have all encountered at some stage

How is this still going on in 2017?

E-Mails on an iPhone Source: DPA/PA Images

ONCE YOU START READING THIS DO NOT STOP OR YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK AND NOBODY WILL FANCY YOU FOR 11 YEARS.

Chain mail is the greatest indicator of how much experience an individual has with using the internet. It wasn’t only tweens in the early 2000s who succumbed to the phenomenon. Plenty of adults in their late 50s on Facebook still fall for it today. Here are some of the most memorable chain mails from the last twenty years.

1. Facebook/Hotmail/AOL/MSN is overloaded and will be removing all inactive users.

hotmaillll

Mark Zuckerberg/Bill Gates/the relevant authorities will delete any Facebook profiles that do not copy and paste this status.

It’s hard to imagine a more inefficient way for a company to find and terminate inactive accounts. It also sounds a bit like the story of Passover from the bible. Paint an X with lamb’s blood on your Facebook status and your profile will be spared.

Despite the silliness of this chain mail, it’s still going strong in 2017.

2. There are 5 weekends this month. This only happens every 823 years. Forward this to 15 friends for good luck.

Tear-off calendar 2012 Source: DPA/PA Images

Listen, as soon as you work somewhere that pays by the month, you’ll learn the hard way that many, many months actually have 5 Fridays. They will grow to be the bane of your life as you attempt to stretch your monthly earnings for one week longer than usual.

A month with five Fridays, five Saturdays and five Sundays isn’t as common, but it still happens nearly once a year. So it’s not a blessed occasion and you do not need to share for good luck.

3. “My name is Teddy I am 7 years old.”

shutterstock_715670446 Source: Shutterstock/Oscar Carrascosa Martinez

A spooky 7-year-old boy introduces himself and, for some reason, gives an account of his physical appearance. “I have  no eyes and blood all over my face. I am dead.”

Teddy warns the reader – “If you don’t send this to at least 12 people I will come to your house at midnight and I’ll hide under your bed. When you’re asleep, I’ll kill you.”

He goes on to offer testimony of what happened to previous readers who did not send on his email. What kind of spooky bureaucrat child handles all of their murders via email?

Case 1: Patty Buckles got this chain email. She didn’t believe in chain letters. Well, foolish Patty. She was sleeping when her TV started flickering on and off. Now she’s not with us anymore

RIP Patty Buckles.

Case 2: George M. Simon hated chain emails, but he didn’t want to die that night. He sent it to 4 people. Not good enough George. Now, George is in a coma, We don’t know if he’ll ever wake up.

Finally, Teddy ended his threatening email with an opportunity to negotiate:

0 people – You will die tonight!1-6 people – You will be injured!7-11 people – You will get the biggest fright of your life!12 and over – You are safe and will have good fortune!

(via www.scaryforkids.com)

4. You got hit by the sexy truck.

PastedImage-55168 Source: Adventure Gamers

For many, the possibility of being cursed with UN*SEXYNESS for 10 years was simply too much, hence the massive worldwide circulation of this imaginary truck.

5. Bloody Mary.

1200px-Bloody_Caesar Source: Wiki

THIS EMAIL HAS BEEN CURSED ONCE OPENED YOU MUST SEND IT.

The “Death by Bloody Mary” email was a lot like the Teddy one. Bloody Mary is not a cocktail, but rather an entity that arranges all of her death appointments with children via email. If they don’t forward it on, they’ll be subjected to a violent death. Like Teddy, Bloody Mary recounted the cases of people who did not forward her email.

6. The virtual joint.

enhanced-buzz-5478-1327509921-25 Source: Funscrape.com

The virtual joint has actually evolved beyond ascii art and exists in a new form that is slightly more appropriate for the audience of 2017.

PastedImage-56030 Source: Me.me

7. This very strange “poem” that people who were proud of their local area send around Bebo.

Northside_Shopping_Centre,_Coolock,_Dublin,_Ireland_-_geograph.org.uk_-_338171 Source: Wiki

Let’s just use Coolock as an example.

My Coolock pride I will not hideMy Coolock Race I will not disgrace.

(Yes, this was used by 12-year-old kids who clearly had no idea what race meant)

My Coolock blood flows hot and true.My Coolock peeps I will stand by you.Thru thick and thin till the day we die,Our Coolock flags always stand high.I yell this poem louder than the rest,

Cuz everyone knows

COOLOCK IS THE BEST.

Send to all ur peeps from Coolock for gud luck.

8. Twitter’s modern version of chain mail.

“RT in 5 seconds or your mom will die.”

9. The 50-year-old who just signed up for Facebook version:

It goes something like this:

Please tell all of your contacts in Messenger not to accept anything from (random name). He has a photo with a dog. He is a hacker and has the system connected to your messenger account. If one of your contacts accepts it, you will also be hacked so make sure that all your friends know it. Thanks. Forwarded as received. Hold down your finger on this message. At the bottom in the middle it will say forward. Hit that then click on the names of those in your list and it will send it to them.

Sure there are plenty of scams on Facebook that older people could fall for, but this doesn’t seem to coherently state any real issue that the dog-photoed man is causing. Accepting friend requests doesn’t give you a virus or let hackers access your computer.

There are countless versions of this chain mail on Snopes. You can’t help but wonder why anybody would be bothered making one of these.

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About the author:

Kelly Earley

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