1. The studio apartments are particularly expensive this month, with this basement in Rathmines going at €1,350 p/m.
At least there’s a window.
As someone with a very good knowledge of IKEA products and their prices, I’d guess that all of the furniture in the room added up together wouldn’t even cost as much as a month’s rent here.
2. If a basement’s not your style, there’s a massive shed in Raheny which costs €1,200.
The inside looks like Santa’s Grotto in Northside Shopping Centre circa 2001.
It really wouldn’t take you very long to get sick of looking at varnish if you had to inhabit this cabin.
3. Then in Rathgar we’ve got this perfectly preserved 1960s kitchen for €850.
This photograph smells like a Home Ec room.
There’s no explanation as to what the dark brown unit beside the kitchen is supposed to be.
We won’t dwell on it too much. Right behind the kitchen area, there’s… You guessed it. A bed. And one of those couches everyone had during the Celtic Tiger when people were obsessed with terracotta.
4. For €895 in Clontarf you have the perfect set up for a romantic meal for one.
The romantic theme continues four feet across the room, with an enlarged photograph of the Eiffel Tower hanging over a single bed.
There aren’t any counter-tops in this property for preparing food, but there’s a draining board. Same thing, basically. €895 for a tiny studio apartment, not including counters.
5. In Ranelagh, this €900 studio apartment costs €5 more than the last one, and comes with a few more benefits.
There are two chairs at the dining table, a whole sofa and coffee table, and there’s a lace curtain to pull across the alcove where the bed is, if you need some privacy.
Unfortunately, there’s only one photograph so God only knows what’s on the other side of the room. There could be a pit full of spiders, a toilet in the middle of the room or a window looking out at a brick wall. According to the property description, six hours of central heating per day is included in the rent. Choose your six hours wisely.
6. This Foxrock studio apartment is one of many properties we’ve seen that provides a sofa-bed, instead of an actual bed.
And it’s €940 per month for the pleasure of sleeping on it.
Right across from it, there’s a neat little kitchen where the windows disappear somewhere into the ceiling.
Between the bed/livingroom and the kitchen, we have the dining area:
Nothing like sitting down to dinner on an office chair.
7. For €720, this studio in Tallaght looks like a normal bedroom at first glance.
Surprise! There’s a kitchen at the end of the bed.
And for some reason there’s a skeleton behind the TV.
What explanation could there possibly be for the presence of a skeleton behind the TV in the middle of June?
8. For €880 you could live in this Dublin 7 log cabin with ridiculously big windows.
This is out somebody’s back garden, so unless you leave the blinds down all day, it’ll be like the owner of the house is keeping you in a little ant farm.
The kitchen is fairly big. Too big to *not* have an oven. But there’s no oven. There are two microwaves instead. Same thing.
9. For €1000 a month in Rathmines you could get this bedroom.
Just the bedroom. That’s all. It’s a double bed in a former B&B with a kettle and a fridge. “May suit on a short term basis before committing to more long term accommodation.” They might as well have just kept it as a B&B.
10. For €1,040 you could get this attic bedroom in Bluebell.
Pro: It has an ensuite.
Con: You have to share a kitchen (with a considerable number of people, judging by the number of ovens).
Think of what you could get for €1,040 a month in literally any other city in Ireland.
11. For €1,395, you could get your hands on this flat in Portobello.
Again, think of what that money could get you in Cork or Galway. At least there’s more than one room, as this photo illustrates.
12. For €95 less (€1,300), you could get this apartment on Gardiner Street.
That’s a lot of money to pay to be able to see out your kitchen window from the comfort of your bed.
A fridge and a wardrobe should not be that close. Imagine in the morning, you wake up groggy and tired. Pour out a bowl of cereal. Go to work. Three weeks later you realise you left the carton of milk in the wardrobe instead of the fridge and the place stinks.
13. Out in Killiney you could get this roomy porch for €650.
Pillows not included in the price.
But massive ornate mirrors are.
Apart from the bathroom, that’s all there is to it. The kitchen is shared with the landlord, so it’s basically just an expensive house-share where you have your own front door.
14. €900 in Portabello will get you a studio apartment that resembles a jungle gym.
A kitchen under your bed. The usual. Please have a reference ready from a previous landlord to confirm that you’re happy to stoop every time you’re making dinner.
The bathroom is even on several platforms.
