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Dublin: 8 °C Thursday 28 March, 2024
dark side

18 things you'll only enjoy if you're secretly a bit evil

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

1. Forcing couples to stop holding hands so you can pass them on the footpath

2. Watching people struggle with umbrellas and hoods in the rain as you sit warm and happy in your car

3. Holding a door open for someone slightly too far away, so they have to do the awkward run for it

4. Touching your significant other with your icy cold feet

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5. Observing an awkward first date go down

6. Seeing someone run for the bus/Luas and getting there just as the doors close

7. Heading off home/on your lunch break just as work is getting particularly busy, pretending not to see the stress in your colleagues’ eyes

8. Saying “Oh, I’ll tell you later” when you can clearly see the person is dying to be told NOW

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9. Reclining your seat on a plane

10. Listening to a dramatic argument that you have no stakes in. HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR

11. When someone trips on a crack in the pavement then looks around to check no one saw. But oh, we did

12. Bringing up something embarrassing someone did while drunk, just to make them squirm a bit

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13. When you hear tourists discuss where they’re going next, then head off in the completely wrong direction

14. Having a good unfriending session on Facebook

15. Saying “Today is my Friday” in full knowledge that it’s everyone else’s Thursday and they hate you for it

16. Watching people trying (and failing) to parallel park

17. When someone gets asked for ID and they don’t have it and they’re just so frustrated

18. And seeing a person desperately try to hail the taxi that you’re in. Suckers!

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