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Sweep the Special Chimney

The Times have officially just come up with the absolute worst euphemism for sex

We’re sorry in advance.

IF WE GAVE you a mere twenty seconds, we’d wager you’d come up with a least ten euphemisms for sex.

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And we’d also wager that that nowhere on that list would we find the phrase ‘sweeping the special chimney’.

Unless you’re The Times journalist, Carol Midgley, that is.

While reviewing BBC show Wanderlust today, Carol used a phrase so off-putting in place of  ‘have sex’, none of us ever want to do it again.

Providing some context for the programme she was reviewing, Carol threw out a few quick stats, and that’s when we were hit full-force in the face with her goddamn chimney sweeping euphemism.

People who own TV sets — and, let’s face it, that’s mostly the over-40s because they’re the only ones who can afford houses to put them in — are 6 per cent less likely in any given week to “sweep the special chimney”. 

We’re sorry, but have you ever heard anything so unsettling?

Sweep. The. Special. Chimney.

We’re not the only ones struggling to get our head around the use of this term, and here is what Twitter has had to say on it.

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