IF YOU’RE OF average height, you might be surprised to learn how often those outside the standard bracket are asked to justify their height to perfect strangers.
Even as recently as last weekend, I was forced to endure a monologue from a random middle-aged bloke in a bar about how my height has been the talk of the pub since I walked in.
I’m 6 foot, not 16 foot, so I’m thinking these people need to get out more.
But on and on he went:
And tell me, you must play basketball? You must do. Sure, you’re only shy of seven-foot by the looks of things. Now c’mere and tell us, what height are you actually? We’ve all been talking about how tall you are. Honest to God, what height are you? C’mere over here and tell us.
Nah you’re grand.
But if anyone needs me, I’ll be in the corner of the pub, reading tweets from the people who understand me.
And here are just a few of my favourites.
1. ‘Sorry, can we open the sunroof? I need to put my knees out.’
Not having any leg room in cars #GrowingUpTall
— Khal (@Khal5SOS) July 7, 2016
2. ‘Oh, I’m sorry. Has it been getting you down too?’
#growinguptall going to family events and a family member says "you need to stop growing"
— chlo 🤤 (@ChloePalme) July 7, 2016
3. ‘I’m tall, I’m not deaf.’
Always hearing "omg she's so tall" behind my back #growinguptall
— Tall Girl Diaries (@tallgirlforlife) July 8, 2016
4. ‘Keep it up, and I’ll call your actual mam.’
#growinguptall feeling like the mother of all your short friends
— no 1 watsky stan (@jessxhinz) July 7, 2016
5. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I was hoping to reach our destination at some point before Christmas.’
#GrowingUpTall people always complaining you walk too fast
— Meg🥡 (@meganoneillll) July 20, 2016
6. ‘We both know that’s not true, but thanks for making everyone uncomfortable.’
#growinguptall 'you could be a model!' yeah except I have a potato face and I look like an elephant but thaanks
— kat (@kattlevy) July 7, 2016
7. ‘I’m tall, I’m not blind.’
#GrowingUpTall
— ☀️ 🍁🍂🎃 (@NormanDarylTWD) October 22, 2017
Man: How tall are you
Me: 5’10
Man: You can’t be, I’m 6ft
Me: You’re shorter than me #acceptit 😂😂😂😂
8. ‘Oh, this? Nearly lost a finger putting on a cardigan before work.’
Hitting the ceiling fan with your hand trying to put clothes on #growinguptall
— bigchanofrom80th🤘🏿 (@Golden_Legecy) July 13, 2017
9. ‘How about we flip the tradition for once?’
#GrowingUpTall meant always being in the back on every group photo never getting that front shine u wanted 😭
— Vezo Da DeⓂ️on 👹 (@Tatted_Chucks) May 14, 2017
10. ‘Dear God, I should probably go over and introduce myself.’
#growinguptall when you see a fellow tall one
— colby_darr (@Colby_darr) May 1, 2017
11. ‘Sure, I’ll hold this balloon and promise not to move.”
If your more than 6ft tall at a festival it’s basically your duty to let people get on your shoulders to either find their friends or take a picture 🙄!!#tallproblems #whyme 😫
— Adam Phillips (@A_Phillips20) June 5, 2018
12. Shout-out to all the people with permanently bruised knees.
Fuck fuck FUCK! Can the majority of desks please be raised 4" so I can cross my legs under the desk? Report back with progress. #tallproblems
— Sveta (@TheRealSveta) March 15, 2018
