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Dublin: 13 °C Friday 17 August, 2018
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9 foolproof tips for bluffing your way through any techie conversation

Web Summit have you baffled? Well, you too can be a ‘thought leader’ in your ecosystem.

THE WEB SUMMIT is currently dominating Dublin, and it’s all anyone can talk about.

But what if you don’t know your cloud from your content, your Hipchat from your WhatsApp?

We’re here to help.

1. Ask a lot of questions in quick succession

No need to ponder the answers.

2. Be deep

Drop in phrases that will make people think, even if it’s just to confuse them.

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3. Know the jargon

Check out some we prepared earlier, but here’s a few you definitely need to know.

Disrupt

If an idea or business is clever and doing well, it’s disrupting the whole industry. Perhaps it’s time for a call to disrupt the use of disrupt, as it needs some serious regulation.

Content

Content is all around us. You might add it to other buzzy words to make it sound like you have a deeper understanding of content than other content creators. Try:

  • Content is king
  • Random Acts of Content
  • Organic content
  • Content longevity
  • Native content

Basically, just throw ‘content’ on to the end of adjective and start swimming in business cards.

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The cloud

Nobody knows what the cloud is, even the inventor of the cloud. However, it will come up in most tech conversations so be prepared to deal with it. We suggest screaming “BUT HOW CAN WE UTILISE THE CLOUD?” during any pitch.

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Addvertising

A new one for 2014. No, not a typo, but means adding value to advertisers. Clever. Come up with some more of these and watch it spread.

Growth marketing

Basically, growing your business through marketing. Which can be summed up as ‘marketing’, too.

SaaS and enterprise

Software, business. SaaS is pronounced letter-by-letter, don’t say sass and make a show of yourself.

4. When describing an app, say it’s like X for X

Oh, did you check out that pitch? It’s like Snapchat, for unemployed dogs. That one? Instagram for used car salesman. Tinder for hugs, you get it.

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5. Big up mobile

Everything is going mobile. Just don’t bring up Nokia.

If you want to get to expert level…

6. Ask about ‘the Ecosystem’

What ecosystem do you see yourself in? Decide now, and choose carefully.

The City as an Ecosystem Source: preston.rhea

7. Collect some swag

We know swag as ‘company merchandise’, but if you’re going to be a hip young tech player, you need to obtain a lot of it and wear it constantly.

FLY THAT FLAG.

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8. Drink more coffee than you can humanly handle

This tip is vital if you want to fit in in a tech environment. Aim to imbibe at least four cups an hour. In fact, if you’re networking and you’re not already holding one, say goodbye to an investment in your pizza-cutter app.

9. Mention ‘The conversation’

We don’t refer to the human conversation you’re actually having, but the wider conversation. Drop lines such as, Apple watch is about to change the conversation on wearables, and you’re well on your way to networking glory.

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