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11 things Irish mams say at Christmas

Christmastime: When your mam’s Mamness goes into overdrive.

1. “I’m just going in to get the few bits.”

#thebigshop

A photo posted by Jess Palmer (@jessieklara) on

The few bits = five more bags of carrots, an extra tin of Roses, more milk, toilet paper, batteries, and a bottle of wine in a fancy gift bag just in case anybody comes to the house and she hasn’t got anything to give them.

2. “Well you have as MANY BAGS!”

Santa Claus is coming to town...with her laundry. #homeforchristmas #presentsgalore

A photo posted by Jess Kyle (@kylejesw) on

It doesn’t matter if half of what you have is presents for other people, mam is convinced that you’ve brought the whole wardrobe down with you. What are you like at all?

3. “Santy was very good to you now, wasn’t he?”

Shhh-Santa Source: Popdaddyvintage

“Yes,” you nod, 27 years of age. “Yes he was.”

4. “We’ll have the dinner at two o’clock and I’m not doing ANYTHING from four onwards. ANYTHING. Do you hear me?”

She’ll be sitting down in front of the Bake Off Christmas special and if you think she’s raising a finger for anyone, you’ve another thing coming.

5. “This is far too much! There was no need for this kind of present now. No need.”

If she says this, she’s delighted. Don’t worry.

6. “BE CAREFUL WITH THAT! DON’T BALL IT UP! I’ll hang on to it.”

Tweet by @helvetica neue Source: helvetica neue/Twitter

Why would you be wasting good wrapping paper, you dirty layabout?

7. “Look up there and I get a picture of ye.”

Christmas of '96, I was five. 😏 #tbt #throwbackthursday #instagood #instafun #the90s #Christmas #ChristmasTBT

A photo posted by Leo David DeSouza (@saint_leo_xiv) on

This usually happens at a) 9am when you’re opening Christmas presents in dressing gown and bed head, or b) just after you’ve eaten three helpings of dinner. No mam. No.

8. “I’VE GOT MARY HERE NOW FOR YOU – *stage whispers* talk to your granny for a minute. Say thank you for the card.”

We still have a land-line. #859 #kentucky #landline

A photo posted by Pilar Garza (@pilarza) on

She’s still worried she hasn’t put manners on you.

9. “Well the style at the church!”

closed the beautiful @balmain show today 🙏🏼🙏🏼 love you @olivier_rousteing thank you!

A photo posted by Gigi Hadid (@gigihadid) on

It’s more like a fashion parade, arsa Mammy. And isn’t she right?

10. 5pm on Christmas Day: “That’s it now for another year.”

#sadness #sad #christmasisover #brokenmemories #awwwcrap 😣😢🙁

A photo posted by Jeffrey (@jeffreyalan12) on

Always there to bring us right back down to earth.

11. *luxuriously* “And I’ll have a Baileys.”

Secret santa😁#baileys #chocbuttons #christmas🎄🎁

A photo posted by Emma Lou Wakefield (@emma_lou23) on

Ooh, never mind – it’s all kicking off now.

Happy Christmas, mams <3

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