STAND BACK EVERYONE. The expert is here. You got this. Or do you?
Making an Excel spreadsheet/table
You’re a dab hand at Excel. You took a COURSE in Excel.
Minutes later, you’re staring at the screen, sweating.
Photography
You’ve been developing an interest in photography over the last few months, and you think you might actually have a talent.
Well, you’ve been putting filters on things in Instagram. Very good at that you are, yeah.
Cooking a steak
Oh yeah, I can cook a great steak.
But not without panicking several times, drowning it in oil, and finally sawing the thing in half to see if it’s done anywhere near the way you like it.
Handling drink
Bag of cans? Naggins? Bottles of wine? Psssh. They’re nothing.
…Until it’s 1am and you’re crying, hurling bits of kebab at the people you love.
Kissing
As far as you’re concerned, you’re the best shift in the world, no question. But there’s no way of ever knowing for sure.
What if everyone we’ve ever kissed secretly thought it was like being mouth to mouth with a washing machine? A chilling thought.
Being funny
Everyone thinks no one else can tell a joke like they can. World’s best comedian? Pah! Average, compared to ME.
And if nobody laughs, it’s not your fault. They have no sense of humour.
Getting a tan
I tan very well. Yeah, couple of minutes in the sun and I’m already getting a colour. Well, I do get burned, but it turns to tan!
THIS IS JUST A COLOUR, ALRIGHT. I’M NOT BURNED.
Driving
Everyone else is wrong. You are right. End of story.
Even if you’re doing this:
