THE LEAVING CERT wrapped up last Friday, and teenagers across Ireland are beginning a long summer of waiting for results, then (hopefully) preparing to start college, then (maybe) moving out.
If this is you, you have about three months to learn how to take care of yourself. Yeah. Here’s a bit of help.
1. You will never know what every button on the washing machine does
Don’t stress. Accept this and move on.
2. It IS possible to set pasta on fire
3. Putting on a duvet cover will drive you mad 99% of the time
Try the Magic Burrito trick, if you think you’re hard enough.
4. Own brand stuff is grand
We’re mostly over this as a society, but if not, come on. Put down the Coco Pops and pick up the Choco Clusters. It’s for the best.
5. Leaving dirty dishes ‘to soak’ means one thing only
Unspeakable horror, coming your way very soon.
Wash as you go, for the LOVE OF GOD.
6. You will smell smells you have never smelled before
All kinds. Mostly bad. But where are they coming from? You’ll never know.
7. You’ll have to deal with bin juice, bugs, mouldy food, manky laundry
Basically, dealing with everything rotten is YOUR job now. If you can conquer these things, you can conquer anything. Maybe.
8. The new-found freedom will go to your head
ALL THE SWEETS! PIZZAS! STAYING UP REALLY LATE ON THE COMPUTER! If they could see you now…*evil laugh*
9. There is no dinner like mammy’s dinner
We’re sorry to break it to you. Truly, we are. There there.
Anything you think the future students of Ireland should be aware of before they take off into the Big Bad World? Let us know in the comments…