THE RANGE OF objects that exist for people of means to spend their money on is vast, and Tiffany is only too happy to add to it.
As part of its new ‘Everyday Objects’ collection, the luxury brand is turning “utilitarian items into handcrafted works of art” (their words, not ours). It’s whimsical! It’s fun! It’s… incomprehensible to most rational-thinking people.
Items in the collection include €400 gold silly straws:
A €110 set of two china cups designed to look like paper ones:
And this silver protractor for €490. Imagine heading into Maths Paper 2 with this!
But the pièce de résistance is this €1150 sterling silver ‘tin can’, which Tiffany is suggesting you use as a pencil holder:
You might say to yourself, “Who would be mad enough to buy this?” but did you notice the ‘instantly recognisable’ Tiffany Blue enamel accent running down the side? Did you? Because any person with taste would. So. You’re just embarrassing yourself.
Tiffany has been roundly pilloried for the collection by people who obviously lack refinement.
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Philistines, all of them. As for us? We’re picking up 12 for stocking fillers. Happy Christmas to all, and to all a sterling silver tin can.
