1. Not having enough money to buy a round and conveniently leaving before your turn
You go in on the rounds when they’re being offered to you, but either leave when it’s your turn or time it so that ye’re moving on somewhere else when the time comes.
You sly bastard, you.
2. Accidentally abandoning your mate while you maul the face off a lad/gal for the night
Whoops.
3. Banging on a toilet door when you decide the person inside is taking too long for your liking
You would never dare tell someone to hurry up in the bathroom while sober. In fact, you typically regard such behaviour with disdain.
But once drink has been taken, you act as though you’re on a righteous crusade.
“EH, COULD YOU HURRY UP? THERE’S A WHOLE LINE OF PEOPLE OUT HERE WAITING”
4. Casually lifting a full pint from the bar as if it’s not the scabbiest thing in the world to do
Pretty much the worst/scabbiest/most dangerous thing you can do in a pub and something you’ve done at least once.
WHAT ARE YOU LIKE?
5. Chatting away to someone… and giving them a made-up phone number
“Eh yeah, my number is 088-378….”
“088? That’s not a number, is it?”
“It is, yeah.”
Sucker.
6. Being that person who hassles the taxi driver to turn up the tunes on the radio and starts having a party in the back seat
While your friends look on. Mortified to be associated with you.
7. And being that person who sneaks a naggin into a pub and embarrasses everyone
After you make your third trip to the toilet to refill your glass, your pals deny even knowing you.
“We’re adults, we swear. We have nothing to do with that.”
8. Being the person someone winds up babysitting
You vom while a friend rubs your head and reassures you that you aren’t ruining their night when you have almost certainly ruined their night.
9. Being that person who’s like, “My phone is dead, so don’t lose me!”
Oh you couldn’t have charged your phone before you went out, no?
Instead, you have to put all this pressure on everyone you’re with not to lose you. (And when they inevitably do lose you, they worry that they’ll never see you again.)
Sound. Real sound.
10. And leaving a night out without bothering your hole to say goodbye to anyone
“Where did Sinead go?”
“She was here a second ago…”
“I’ll ring her.”
“You can’t. Her phone’s dead.”
