YOU DID IT. You lived up to the national stereotype and had one too many last night.
Listen, don’t worry about it, it happens to us all. Unfortunately, most of ‘us all’ were wise enough to book today off. But not YOU. Will you make it?
1. Did you attend a parade yesterday?
Yep
No
2. What was your poison?
3. How late did you stay out?
AS IF I CAN REMEMBER
Ah I was out early so got to bed early enough
Too late for a school night
5. What's the plan for lunch?
DOUGH. Anything beige.
A sandwich or something, the usual
Water, if I can stomach it.
6. Choose an antidote. QUICK!
Solpadeine
Panadol
All the water
Coffee
7. Finally, have a look in the mirror. Is there any trace of green body paint on your person?
Oh God. It's everywhere.
Nope. I'm clean.
You scored out of !
You'll be grand
You'll be fine, you smug git! Were you even drinking at all? Go get your colleague some corn snacks, they deserve it.
You scored out of !
It's not looking good
Oh dear, the outlook is bleak. Order pizza and bathe in lucozade, it's the only answer.