“A GOOD MAN is hard to find.” This is true, but you know what’s arguably harder to find?
A half-decent winter coat.
You want something that’s stylish, warm and practical. Something that makes you look like a guest star in The Good Wife or Scandal.
Sounds easy, but winter coats are really nothing more than a load of hassle.
First of all, you have to make sure your winter coat doesn’t make you look like Brenda Fricker in Home Alone 2
This is a very real risk if your coat doesn’t fit just right.
But you also don’t want to get stuck with something that’s cute, but ultimately has less warmth than a bin bag
Unfortunately, the odds of finding a winter coat that’s both toasty and nice is the same as finding €50 on the road
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Sure, it can happen if you’re incredibly lucky, but we wouldn’t bet on it.
Chances are you’ll sacrifice one for the other
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“I don’t need a warm winter coat. It’s fine. I’ll just grow all my leg hair instead.”
Once you buy your winter coat, chances are you’ll have the following conversation with your Mam
You: I got a new coat.
Mam: Great, is it waterproof?
You: … yes.
Mam: Because you’ll be glad of a waterproof coat if it rains –
You: YEAH GOD MAM, IT’S WATERPROOF
Until, of course, you get caught in torrential rain and realise that your coat almost certainly is not waterproof
You’ll have the following conversation with yourself a few times…
What’s that smell? It smells like wet dog. Oh, right, yeah, that’s my stupid non-waterproof coat.
Your Mam was right.
Don’t even talk to us about this nonsense
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The worst.
Or indeed the risks we all take when it comes to washing our winter coats
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“Dry clean only? I’m sure that’s just, like, a guideline or whatever.”
*tosses in washing machine, keeps fingers crossed*
Despite all the hassle, though, there will come a day when you catch a reflection of yourself in your winter coat and think, “Damn, I feel like Alicia Florrick”
And you’ll immediately forget about that wet dog smell.
<3
