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Dublin: 7 °C Saturday 24 March, 2018

15 words you should absolutely be unable to use within the borders of Ireland

Get up the yard with your ‘Crimbo’.

1. ‘Candy’

Penny sweets and milseán are the only acceptable alternatives.

15352621082_7341314c98_z Source: Flickr

2. ‘Garbage/trash’

Rubbish. IT IS RUBBISH. Or, in informal conversations, the black bin.

3475434627_520e6339a9_z Source: Flickr

3. ‘Mom’

As if you’d ask your MOM what ye were having for dinner. Hmm, I don’t know, maybe MAC ‘N’ CHEESE?

4. ‘Pint of lager’

It’s a fucking pint, relax.

7802359132_a183be6bbb_z Source: Flickr

5. ‘Crimbo’


6. ‘Soda’

Or ‘pop’. It’s a Coke – or, more broadly, a ‘mineral’.


Posted by on Saturday, 24 March 2018

7. ‘Pudding’, when referring to a dessert

“Anyone for pudding?”

Give me my jelly and ice cream and shove it, Karen.

Homemade #jellyandicecream

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8. ‘Tea’, when referring to a meal

Tea comes as Lyons or Barrys, and in a cup. None of this small meal bullshit.

15832542620_9a15bb10d7_z Source: Flickr

9. ‘Store’

“Just nipping to the corner store to get some milk!”

*blank gaze*


10. ‘Going dutch’

This just means when someone pays for their own meal on a date. Wholly unnecessary and could easily be misinterpreted.

11. ‘Jonesing’

This, apparently, means “to be craving something intensely”, but let’s leave that definition to the yanks and just keep Jones as being a very good last name. (Ahem).

12. ‘Supper’

When did ‘dinner’ stop sufficing? Leave it out.


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13. ‘Footy’

Spare me.

1217925851_a8716a0a06_z Source: Flickr

14. ‘Poppycock’

Plenty of other words for taking shite.

15. ‘Jelly’, instead of jam

Put this word and your sore excuse for a preserve.

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