Still have flashbacks of this- Tullamore cinema aged 13, sneaked into Nightmare on Elm Street in my best Roms & Orries.
It was a tense first date with a pretty girl called Jennifer who turned up for the date with three of her girlfriends for a safety in numbers approach.
My big brother had coached me on the main moves so about 15 minutes in I fake-yawned and subtly threw the arm around her and managed to impale my arm on a nail sticking out of the manky cinema seats.
Started gushing blood everywhere and screaming like a maniac which kicked off a wave of hysteria and panic in the surrounding rows.
Got blood all over her outfit and dragged out by the guy with the torch. Never saw her again and still feel morto nearly 30 yrs later..

Second date. After a few too many drinks we’re in a taxi heading home. I’m half asleep on his lap in the back. Next thing I know I’m covered in vomit. He was so hammered he puked on me. Morto. I forgave him and we got married just over a year ago:-)

First date, he asked me if I was “one of those dwarf-type people” (I’m 5ft 1!) and that I should “consider wearing heels all the time”. Then spent the night lecturing me about American capitalism. Needles to say, the first and last date!

First date. She was half hour late so went into shop beside Cinema and spent money. Walked out of shop and she’s standing there. Had to ask her for a loan to go to movie. We married and have five children

Had a blind date once. She was out the night before and had a few too many. Went to a Italian restaurant , she said she was feeling a bit ill, after the soup , lets say she regurgitated it on the table via her hand as a filter- if ye know what I mean . She spent next 20 min in ladies, in the mean time main course came , I ate mine, and a bit of hers. Sent in waitress to loo to make sure she was ok.
She came out , i paid for the dinner then dropped her home. Fastest date ever 1.5 hours.

On my first date many years ago with a really nice girl that I was eager to impress, she was trying to look extra sexy when lighting up a cigarette……..I have no idea what happened but she managed to set her hair on fire !.

Drunken instinct took over and I threw my pint of Guinness on top of her head….I was howling with laughter but she was not impressed…..

I went on date, think I was 17? Went to the cinema and Had loads of drinks at a house party. everything went great and next thing I know it’s 7 am and I wake up on the toilet, trousers around my ankles and said trousers full of vomit, i literally vomited into my own trousers.

I had to scoop the chunks out and then walk a mile to my house at 11 on a Sunday morning, oddly enough the girl wasn’t exactly impressed, she must have lost my number?

Living it right now. Called out to the gf this evening to find she’s watching My Gypsy Wedding or some shite…

I was in my early 20s and this gorgeous guy was coming to my place for the first time after three dates going for coffees, cinema and pub. I tried to open a bottle of cava, being all sophisticated while chatting amicably. The cork flew out with speed, hitting my nose from underneath: some blood and lots of tears all over my face lol. After he administered first aid and lots of cuddles we had a hysterical laugh about it and ended up as bf/ gf for quite some time

One night I got a call from my friend Eimear, asking if I fancied joining her and another mate (who I didn’t know) in the pub – she was just around the corner. So I said “sure” and went and met them. So there she was with this guy and we are all standing, drinking, chatting and (I think) having a good time. Suddenly he announces “look Eimear, it’s clear this isn’t going to work out – why else would you bring this guy along unless you want to get rid of me?” And suddenly leaves.

Turns out it was a first date, and she didn’t think it was bad form to call up a male friend and invite him along mid-date. I assured her that it was, and that had I’d known it was a date, I wouldn’t have shown up like a right lemon.

She really liked him too.

Montreal, hot summer morning.. a gorgeous young man tried to woo me with breakfast but there was a dead mouse in the toaster…the smell of sweet meat roasting,,sick ..next memory is of him shaking the toaster over the balconey and the little rodent falling 3 stories to the ground.
I left.

A friend of mine work up the morning after, she was in de bathroom, he was gasping so he spied a glass of water on her locker so he knocked it back, when she came out of bathroom she asked him, where was the glass with my contact lenses gone……

At the end of a date, we’d figured out we weren’t suited to each other so when we were saying goodbye he went for a handshake and I went for a highfive. He left me hanging. Still blushing two years later.

Had a blind date with his guy, he turned up in an aul lad suit prob his grandads best with matching red hankie and socks, then bought me a drink then on the 2nd drink he told me he believed it was my round…corrected my grammar and my posture then proceeded to tell me his ex wife tore his heart out of his chest and danced on it ( i’m sensing he wasn’t quite over her ) A few more rude comments from him later and i had a go at him, he made his excuses and went to the loo and never came back … flippen cheek.. I wasn’t even insulted to be honest and checked over my shoulder all the way to the taxi rank in case her jumped out and murdered me!!

The guy I brought to my debs in Killiney Castle in 1978 spent all my money and got sick on the table. Paul (can’t remember your surname), I hope you see this!

Answered an lonely hearts ad , I was mortified when my sister turned up .

While experimenting in adolescence I ended up briefly dating this girl. She’s a twin. Me and her sister hit it off better and she knew it. Anyway we went to her debs. Same night she talked me outta buying a lotto ticket cause a waste of money. Five numbers later came up. Got to debs. We danced. Stepped on me toe. Almost broke it. I limped the rest of the night. She pulled my camera from my shoulder and strained it. Was in pain for a week. Next morning she accidentally spilled hot coffee all over me and my blacktie hire suit and shirt which was due back in a couple of hours. We broke up soon after and I decided I like lads :)

A blind date in London. If the photo she had sent me was of her it was obviously from several years before. She recommended a Chinese restaurant she said she knew and proceeded to order so many dishes that the waiter asked if we’d need more places set at the table. I managed to eat about two plates worth of stuff and she shoveled the stuff into her so enthusiastically that one of the waitresses was filming her on her phone and the staff had all come out of the kitchen to watch. She then suggested the cinema and tore through a large box of popcorn, a large drink and quite a bag of pic and mix, only to suggest, when we went for what I had decided would be a last drink for the road, that we get some food, which she did eating about enough for a pretty substantial mail meal. I’ve never been scared by another human eating before or since. That was the end of that.

was so nervous that i had a few too many… he had to take me home put me into bed and placed a sick bucket next to me….. 2nd date…

First date, front row of cinema, knocked over both of our large drinks, river of Pepsi running towards the screen, mare, no second date

One valentines night a guy I was seeing gave me a single rose even though i told him I didn’t really like valentines and would be mortified if I had to walk around town with a flower. So I’m walking down Grafton st with the rose when this couple walked by, the girl looked at me, stopped and started screaming at her fella about how he NEVER bought her flowers and it turned into a big row. I was so embarrassed for her I have her my rose and just legged it!

Met a guy a few days before Valentines. So first date ended up being that day. Both of us were very nervous, had a few too many drinks. At the end of the meal I dropped my napkin on the table, it landed on the candle which set fire to the table. A quick thinking waiter sorted it! We went out for 2 years after it. I still haven’t gone back to the restraunt!

I met a guy for a first proper date and within 20 minutes he had pulled his pants down and w***** off in front of me. And yI’d thought he was such a gentleman…

Remember 1 night i had 2 dates 1downstairs and the other upstairs in O Dwyers Lesson St, dont ask me how it worked out, both were lovely blokes ,

Was working abroad many years ago during a school summer and managed to pull way WAY out of my league. A German chick. Anyway I did as any proud irish man would and went for it big style for a few days. Few days later her German boyfriend (in a red f@cking Ferrari) turns up to visit for the weekend shortly after our first ride. I was incensed that she would just use me like that (nahhhhhht) but kept the head down for the weekend. After the meathead left I confronted her in a rage and swore to myself never to see the cow again. My resolve lasted about ten seconds. Kept it going for the rest of the summer then cried all the way home on the plane. Never told the boys at school cos they’d never have believed me anyway. Sob.

A verse for valentines day: it’s fiction, I swear!

I dreamed her before I met her,
can you believe it? – it’s true.
I even got the colour of her eyes right,
one green, the other blue.
It didn’t even faze me
that one looked east the other west,
because I was distracted by her more
than ample breasts.

I dreamed we went to her place,
this also came to pass,
what I never did envision
were her false teeth in a glass.
By the time she ditched her hearing aid
and the wig from off her head
there was more of her on the bathroom shelf
than there was upon the bed.

When I tried to run she tripped me up
with her wooden leg,
she gagged me with her padded bra
and tied me to the bed.
What happened next is private
- I’m too shy to relate -
Let’s just say next Friday night
we have our second date!

I went on a date one night with a guy in Dublin. I had met him briefly before and quite fancied him so I wanted to make a good effort. I decided to do a sunbed session that day not realising I would get a heat rash. I met him in a pub and initially everything was grand then suddenly I started to scratch and basically I couldn’t stop, literally every bit of me was itchy. I kept excusing myself to go to the loo so I could literally tear myself to stop the itch. Eventually I told him I had to go. I think he thought I had some type of disease or something, it was very embarrassing and I never did see the guy again!

I’m 40 and still waiting for my first date.

Before I go ahead, can ye delete stuff off this or have you to Tweet or e-mail the Author?

But then again, I;ve been at least two girls’ worst dating experience!

2nd or 3rd date in and agreed to come meet her friends in Dublin. Hated every one of them. All boring pretentious knobs. Made an excuse about going out for some fresh air, abandoned my jacket still in the bar, hopped in the car and bailed out of there never to return.

I went on a date one night with a guy in Dublin. I had met him briefly before and quite fancied him so I wanted to make a good effort. I decided to do a sunbed session that day not realising I would get a heat rash. I met him in a pub and initially everything was grand then suddenly I started to scratch and basically I couldn’t stop, literally every bit of me was itchy. I kept excusing myself to go to the loo so I could literally tear myself to stop the itch. Eventually I told him I had to go. I think he thought I had some type of disease or something, it was very embarrassing and I never did see the guy again!

Went on a first date. After having a few drinks I said ‘Let’s go to a Tapas bar’, so she lead be down to Dame St. Where we stood outside Lepellos or one of those strip clubs. I asked her what what was the story, she said ‘ you wanted to goto a Topless bar?’ Last date. ;-)

Arrived for a date and was about to open the restaurant door when I noticed the lady in question inside. Wearing a big wooly aran sweater and baggy jeans. F@ck that I thought and turned tail. I know I know, harsh. She’s happy out these days though so my conscience is clear har har

There’s a blog about that…

http://28dateslater.blogspot.co.uk/

Clearly I have read this article twice! The second time I thought this s*** is fake before realising I read it before! My bad :! }thursnightdrinking

Met this one in work, asked her out on a date, went to the cinema and food after. In the meantime, my other friend had text me asking for my car. I missed the text as was in the cinema but when I saw it, I text him back telling him I was out on a date. Needless to say he turned up in the restaurant basically robbed my keys (lol) and left with my car. I had to drop her home in a taxi!!!! Then we made love a week later and married three months later down leeside

Had a blind date for my debs but when I met the girl I couldn’t hide how horrified I was. Even in front of both sets of parents I just looked totally horrified and disgusted. Kind of regret it now. Throughout the night she was insinuating that I don’t fancy her… How dare she. Lol.