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7 things we've always wondered about awards shows

Can you stand beside Michael Fassbender in the jacks?
Feb 16th 2014, 12:12 PM 9,220 1

THE BAFTA AWARDS take place in London tonight.

Right now celebs are primping and preening in advance of the red carpet arrivals, the snoozy awards bit, and the all-important after  parties.

What exactly goes on at these things though? They’re just people like us, right?

1. How do they know when to arrive?

When you watch Seacrest interviewing the celebs on the red carpet it always seems like they arrive in perfect clockwork, with the lesser stars processed first before the A-listers make their way through the gauntlet in a perfect Taylor Swift/Jennifer Lawrence train.

jennifer-lawrence-photobombs-taylor-swift-at-golden-globes-2014 Source: Justjared

Are all the fancy black cars lined up out of sight around the corner, full of George Clooneys and Cate Blanchetts, waiting for their turn to spit their cargo onto the end of the ruby rug?

This video would seem to suggest that yes, yes they they do.

Source: CelebrityMonitor

2. Who are all those people in black?

Usually there are more anonymous yet terribly important-looking people wearing black and headsets on red carpets than actual celebrities.

What is their purpose? Why are they so important-looking? Where do they go when the celebs go inside? Have they no homes to go to?

71st Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals - Los Angeles Source: © Arroyo/GG/ AFF-USA.COM

71st Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals - Los Angeles Source: © Arroyo/GG/ AFF-USA.COM

3. Do they have to sit where they’re told?

This is a sample of the seating plan for tonight’s BAFTAs.

BAFTA Film Awards 2014 - Preparations - London Source: John Stillwell/PA Wire/Press Association Images

What if Tom Hanks thinks Christian Bale is a dose?

BAFTA Film Awards 2014 - Preparations - London Source: John Stillwell/PA Wire/Press Association Images

What if Blanchett doesn’t want Matt Damon kicking the back of her seat?

4. What’s the story with the jacks?

Does Dame Judi Dench have to queue up with Scarlett Johansson and Leonardo Di Caprio’s ma in order to spend a penny?

If the only urinal available is beside Michael Fassbender, do you wait until another one is free?

This Entertainment Weekly insight from the Golden Globes offers some behind-the-scenes details:

“Excuse me,” says the young woman in the striking red dress. Sarah Paulson, busy fixing her eyebrows in the bathroom mirror slowing turns her head to see her 12 Years a Slave co-star Lupita Nyong’o standing at the sink next to her. They may have played slave owner’s wife and slave on screen, but these two proved to be thick as thieves in the bathroom, where they began screaming like two young school girls when they saw each other.

71st Annual Golden Globe Awards - Press Room - Los Angeles Source: AFF/EMPICS Entertainment

Oh to be a fly on the wall of an awards show bathroom. The things you’d see (and hear, and smell).

5. Are people langered?

There’s no point in pretending that The Golden Globes isn’t way better craic than the Academy Awards because they get to sit and sink pints (well, fancy wine and cocktails) while the ceremony is going on.

Are most of them almost on their ear halfway through? Does anyone have to be put in a taxi?

Source: yagerbomb42

Taxi for Roberts!

6. How do they decide which party to go to?

Sure the ceremonies themselves are interesting and Tina and Amy/Ellen/Stephen Fry always entertain as hosts, but surely the after show parties are where the real magic happens?

Film studios hold parties. Magazine publishers hold parties. Celebs hold parties (yo, Elton, call us).

Are the celebs told which events to go to? Are they guaranteed to get in? What if their mates are all at one party and they’re at another party? What if Fassbender and Cumberbatch are dancing AND YOU’RE AT THE WRONG PARTY?

71st Annual Golden Globe Awards - Fox Party - Los Angeles Source: AP/Press Association Images

7. Is there drunken gob lobbing?

There has to be, right? There HAS to be.


We know what Fassbender and Cumberbatch were dancing to>

7 of the best moments from the Golden Globes>

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Emer McLysaght


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