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A TEXT? The bitch.
A TEXT? The bitch.

New app composes your break-up text for you

Are you the kind of person that sends such a text?
Jul 30th 2013, 3:54 PM 3,168 0

IT’S THE COWARD’S way out to send a text, but hey,  for some people it’s the only way.

If you want out of your relationship and don’t want to have a difficult heart-to-heart, there’s a new app that will do your dirty work for you.

Breakup Text asks the breaker-upper a few questions about the relationship and then composes a suitable text to send.

It starts by asking whether you’re breaking up with a guy or a girl and whether it was casual or serious.

(We’re hoping the answer is “casual”, if you’re using an app as a break-up tool)

However it soon gets down to the nitty gritty:

via Breakup Text

After a few more basic questions, the app composes a surprisingly lengthy text for your former loved one, along the lines of this one, composed for CNET’s Chris Matyszczyk when he tried it out:

Hi PollyPot, I know you expected to make it to our next anniversary. Maybe beyond, who knows? There was that one night we named our maybe-babies. That was cute. You’re cute. But it’s over between us. We’ve drifted apart. It’s not just your impotency, it really isn’t. And no, this isn’t about that girl at work. It’s us. Ever hear the song Cape Canaveral by Conor Oberst? Of course you haven’t, that was one of our issues. Anyways, we’re like that. A poltergeist love. And I need an exorcism.

Harsh, no?

After yesterday’s Reasons We Broke Up, we’re not sure we can take anymore.

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Emer McLysaght

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