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10 reasons Steven Seagal is better than you

As if you didn’t already know.
Oct 13th 2012, 9:45 AM 11,310 36

STEVEN SEAGAL IS better than you. You should just accept it.

What, you still think Steven Seagal isn’t better than you?

He is WAY better than you. Here’s why:

1. He’s been shot, but whatever


And he’s ALWAYS armed. You heard that, right?

2. He runs like a girl and doesn’t care


3. He understands fashion

This is him at the VH1 Fashion Awards. (Anthony Harvey/PA Archive/Press Association Images)

4. Jean-Claude Van Damme isn’t even on his radar


5. He’s won awards

And accepted them with dignity. (MERGEN BEMBINOV/AP/Press Association Images)

6. He rocks out on the guitar


7. He borrowed Bono’s glasses, and never gave them back

(JACK DEMPSEY/AP/Press Association Images)

What, you think Bono’s going to ask for them?

8. There’s a trumpet fanfare when he kicks people


9. He literally enforces the law

Seagal is an actual officer in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana. With full powers to arrest anyone that hijacks a nuclear submarine, or, you know, parks illegally.

He also beats up his fellow officers, according to this clip from his reality show Steven Seagal: Lawman.


10. I mean, COME ON

What a guy. (Misha Japaridze/AP/Press Association Images)

He’s better than you.

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Michael Freeman


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